Mommy Goes Bananas

Maybe It's Me

2011-11-03T08:03:00.000-04:00

Maybe I'm not doing this right. Maybe everything I thought about parenting is wrong,

Maybe I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

I'm starting to feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

I wonder if it's because all these kids are now teenagers ? lol

After a HUGE blowup yesterday between 'Cole and the twins, I feel like my home is full of chaos.

Here's the problem(s)

'Cole thinks that the twins get away with too much. They don't respect her. She thinks I don't discipline them enough. When they do something she perceives as disrespect she's ready to bash their heads in. Literally.

The twins think that 'Cole is the "favorite" child and gets EVERYTHING she wants. They don't listen to her because...well they don't respect her.

Huge fight occurred yesterday while I was at the grocery store. Ended with the twins fleeing the house for their lives.
Safely plan has been in place since the last BIG blowup...about a year ago.

'Cole struggles to control her anger. Once she gets to her breaking point you can't pull her back. It's best to give her a lot of space and let her cool down. When she's in that state of mind you can't reason with her or talk to her. All she sees is what she perceives as an attack on her person.

The twins on the other hand are mouthy 13 years olds. They really don't know when to quit. Really. They think they're pretty tough. They talk a lot of trash.

Unfortunately, 'Cole isn't amused at their bravado.

And to think this whole situation started over the chore list.

Family Life

2011-10-16T08:07:00.000-04:00

Time marches on. This weekend we spent the morning picking apples and pumpkins at our favorite farm. Lynd's Fruit Farm. The apples there are sooooo sweet. I can't wait to make something with them. My mother used to make fried apple pies. That sounds so good right now. I live for these family moments. They bring light into my life. I don't have many memories of my cousins growing up. I can't recall going on any family outings.

13

2011-10-09T08:24:00.000-04:00

Today my two youngest daughters turn 13.
They are good girls (mostly) lol
They love roller skating, cheerleading, facebook and music.

The have wishes and hopes and dreams.
They are beautiful and kind.

They are emotional and silly.
They wear their hearts on their sleeves.
They make me happy when skies are gray.
Quick to anger, but even quicker to forgive.

They've been my daughters since they were 4 years old.
I can't believe how quickly time has flew by.

Happy Birthday. I love you both.

Broken Hearts and Broken Windows

2011-09-18T10:58:00.002-04:00

I tried.

Pickles had court on Wednesday. The first charge was for truancy (from last school year), the second charge was theft. He tried to shoplift over $300 worth of merchandise from Sears.

The judge was ready to put him in jail. I should have let him. Maybe that's what he needs to see. Maybe that'll be what it takes for him to understand.

He's been going to school. Trying to make an effort.

But I guess when he saw he wasn't going to jail, he lost his little goofy mind.

He had a ride to get back to school after court, so I let him go. He didn't go back to school. Didn't come home. He didn't go to school Thursday. Didn't come home Thursday.

Late Friday morning the school called and told me he arrived late. I didn't pay too much attention to it. I was just glad he had dragged himself to school.

Friday afternoon 'Cole texted me and said someone had broken the window of her bedroom and taken some money out of her bank. When I got home I noticed some clothes on the basement stairs. Pickles shirt... the one he had wore to court. That's when I knew who had been in my house.
I checked all the other windows, made sure nothing else was stolen. Filed a police report. I asked 'Cole how much money she was missing. She said a dollar and some change.

He swears he didn't break the window. He even had his alibi ready. He was on another side of town with my friend's son all afternoon. He couldn't have done it.

But I know the truth.

He didn't do this in the afternoon. He did this Friday morning. After everyone left for work and school. He took the money for bus fare so he could get to school. That's why he got to school late.

My good boy. The one I never imagined would be this way.
My heart doesn't even have time to mend itself, before he does something else. Something worse.

There are things in my head that I never imagined I think about one of my children.
A dislike that grows with every incident. A coldness that fills me when I look at him.
Now...I'm just tired.

Parenting Redux

2011-08-21T09:46:00.005-04:00

Over this summer, I have learned alot about the type of parent I want to be. I see the mistakes I made with my son, and I have an almost profound understanding of what happened.

Lives have to have meaning. Definition.

I allowed him to meander through his life without purpose and now I see the error of that. His life was full of school stuff and home stuff. There was nothing else (well, except for vacations and outings and such) But there was nothing there to motivate him, feed his mind.
Now I'm dealing with the results of a starved mind. A mind that needed purpose.
I didn't know.

In learning this about him, I also learned it about myself.

When I became a parent I stopped doing the things I loved.. Drawing, painting, writing. My own mind became starved.
And I didn't even know.

He wants piano lessons. I will sign him up for piano lessons.

It's never to late to change. (hopefully)
I promise to do better.

And So I Pray....

2011-07-09T16:46:00.002-04:00

Why didn't anybody TELL me that being the parent of teenagers was going to be so hard. Why ? Why ? Why ?

I know Pickles could be much, much worse. I know that he is trying to figure out who he is and where he's going. I know all that stuff.

All I'm asking for is a little common sense.

And I still have to look forward to the twins becoming teenagers.
My head hurts just thinking about it.

In Other News

2011-06-01T18:16:00.001-04:00

We need a new roof. Every time it storms the wind blows shingles off. I've got a few estimates and the insurance company agreed we needed a new roof... so they're paying for it.

Hopefully the work starts this week and it can stop raining in my house.

Our dog Java gave birth to 10 puppies. One died at birth. So for a while we had nine adorable balls of fluff running around. As soon as they were old enough I started giving away puppies. We only have one left, and he belongs to my sister and brother-in-law. He's a cutie pie, but I don't want anymore dogs.

Almost Summer

2011-05-30T17:58:00.005-04:00

I never seem to have time to blog anymore , but this is probably the time I need it the most.
This school year is slowly coming to an end... and I will be the first one to admit I'm happy to see it go.
Pickles has school attendance issues almost this entire school year. Somewhere along the way he's decided that he knows EVERYTHING he needs to know and doesn't see the point in an education. He told me he "has bigger dreams than what a high school diploma can give him" and that he " isn't going to work a 9 to 5 job, because he's going to be famous."

Tomorrow we have to go to Truancy Court, where he'll have to explain why he doesn't seem to be able to make it to school.

I am physically and emotionally drained. I have done everything I could short of quiting my job and walking him to school everyday. He hates school. Period. Always has. Before he became my son (age 8- third grade) He had been in seven different schools. His early life was about survival...not education.
He's blamed everyone and everything for his school issues, but in reality it's all him. The school has offered tutoring, the teachers offer extra help, I've sat down and tried to help him. Family members have tried to help him. People I work with have tried to guide him. He just sees it all as absolutely pointless.

Part of it is his personality. He's so laid-back and easy going, he has no ambition. None. He doesn't want to do ANYTHING he has to work hard for. He's not a bad kid. He's not disrespectful, he doesn't mess with drugs or alcohol. he just wants to do what he wants to do. (Hang out with his friends, shoot hoops, play video games)

Lately it seems like all my time and energy is spent dealing with him. I feel sooo bad for my daughters, they probably feels like they doesn't have a parent. I'm thinking about sending him to summer camp, we ALL just need a break for his drama.

I know I said it once, but I'll say it again....I'm tired.

Happy 17th !!

2011-04-21T19:39:00.005-04:00

Always so proud of this beautiful girl. I know she feels unappreciated. I know I need to do better. Lately, I've been so involved in drama with Pickles, I've forgotten how happy this kid makes me.
She turned 17 years old on April 16th. One of her gifts from me was a trip to the Jersey Shore. She invited her best friend along and they had tons of fun. Ocean City, Atlantic City and everywhere in between. She gathered giant seashells from a beach, they shopped for cool stuff on the boardwalk, they walked along the beach and danced in the water. (It was way too cold for swimming.)

I'm happy and sad at the same time to see her grow up.
I feel like my house is full of so much drama, that the good kids and the ones who are trying just get pushed aside.
It makes my heart hurt.

But this weekend was stress-free. We had fun. The other kids were at home with the babysitter.
I felt soooo carefree and relaxed. I miss feeling like that.

'Cole...I love you. I hope you know it.

In Other News...

2011-03-23T19:32:00.002-04:00

'Cole has been accepted into the Medical Assisting Program at the career center. Very hard program to get into, I'm very proud of her.

The twins are doing well in school. I'm exploring summer camp options for them. They absolutely need to stay busy during the summer.

Hear that sound ??

2011-03-22T18:11:00.001-04:00

That's the sound of the "poo" hitting the fan.
I've been having a feeling something was going on at my house, while I'm at work. So Monday I pulled a "mom maneuver" I got dressed like I was going to work, left at my regular time, stayed gone for an hour and came back.
I leave at 6. Kids are supposed to be gone at 6:30.
As I approach my house, my dog meets me on the sidewalk.
I opened the front door (which was unlocked) and just stood there for a moment. I could hear water running in the bathroom upstairs.

Pickles heard the dog and peeked his head around the corner and saw me. His jaw HIT the floor.
I asked him what he was doing. he started stammering and stuttering about how he was waiting for his friend to bring him some jeans and how he really was going to school.
I told him I really wasn't in the mood for excuses and it would be best if he finished getting dressed and go on to school. He tossed on some shoes and basketball shorts and left.

After he left I went upstairs to change out of my uniform. I unlocked my bedroom door and lo and behold, the boy had jimmied the lock, and made himself at home on my computer (the only computer in the house that wasn't password protected). He had even been enjoying a bowl of cereal when I interrupted him.

Needless to say, he did not go to school. I think he hung out at the library all day. (or at someones house) I did not go look for him.
He sent me a facebook message around noon, talking about how he hated school, how I've been so good to him and that I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.
We did find him later that day, playing basketball at the park. My brother-in-law went and talked to him and we all returned home.
I had a long talk with him. We're exploring school options for next school year.

This kid is tiring me out.

Drama

2011-02-21T11:55:00.004-05:00

Friday I got a call from the high school. The bio-dad of Pickles was there trying to sign him out for the day. For once the school did exactly what it's supposed to do and did NOT release my son to this man.

Things would've been so different if he had contacted me first. If the kids were open to seeing him, I would have been more than happy to arrange a visit. It all reeks of sneakiness. He doesn't want to contact me because he sees me as the babysitter.

He has NO respect for their current lives. They've moved forward and he's stuck in the past. He hasn't seen them since the twins were 4 and Pickles was 8. That's a lifetime to a child.

I'm glad that the kids and I have always been able to have open, honest dialogue. They told me immediately when he first contacted them and everytime he's ever tried to contact them.

I mentioned the school incident Pickles, he had no idea. The office didn't tell him his dad was there.

Now I have some decisions to make.

Finding Value

2011-01-24T17:46:00.004-05:00

The conversation on the way home from a Parent-Teacher Conference this morning.

Me: "People see something of value in you. Your teachers could have wrote you off. They could have said oh well, this kid doesn't want to learn. Heck with him. But instead they try to work with you, encourage you and support you. They see something of value in you."

Pickles: "How come all of you see it and I don't ?"

Me: " Perhaps you don't know what to look for."

He won't even give himself a chance. How do I teach him or help him to discover what he is capable of if he won't even give himself a chance ?
He loves being successful as long as he doesn't have to work at it.

I like him. He's a good kid. He's fun to talk to. He's calm, even-keeled, and loving. He's charming and charismatic. He CAN be successful. He could become anything he wants.

Why can't he see himself the way other people see him ?

New Years Day 2011

2011-01-02T23:35:00.006-05:00

lol.... I have soooo many posts in my head. Just no time to write.

Happy New Year !!!

This year we decided to try out a new family tradition. We took all the kids snow tubing at Mad River Mountain Ski Resort. They had entirely too much fun. lol

I took pics and watched. I was not trying to get injured in any way shape or form.

Surviving Christmas

2010-12-26T10:12:00.005-05:00

Hooooo-weeeee...

I'm just glad its over.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Right now the kids are downstairs playing Just Dance 2 for the Wii. They've been playing it all weekend.
December 19th we had our family Christmas party. My nephew A-2 did a magic show, it was wonderful. Then nephews a1, a2, a3 and Daisy and Pinky danced/mined to 'I Heard it through the Grapevine' it was too cute.

Christmas Eve was filled with the usual drama. Daisy provoking everyone to craziness and 'Cole punching her in the face. I had to jump in the middle of the fight, to do damage control. Every Christmas season there's always some drama.

Christmas Day was pretty nice, much calmer than I expected. The kids got clothes and shoes and I limited their electronics to one item per person. No point in buying a bunch of stuff to get destroyed. (wish that would have occured to me when they were younger. lol)

November

2010-11-20T15:23:00.003-05:00

34 days till Christmas. I've been busy trying get get myself prepared for the holidays. The kids are always stressed out this time of year. They've been fighting amongst themselves more than usual. Everybody is tense and on edge.

Pickles has been grounded for all his bad grades + getting suspended...TWICE !
But he seems to be heading around a corner. We just had parent-teacher conferences this week and he's doing better. He actually has a B in geometry. Yes, folks you heard me correctly a "B". I'm proud of him, but I know he struggles with keeping up with his grades. He's getting a lot of help at school and that is working wonders for him.

The twins are doing pretty good in their first year of middle school. They love to talk and that is creating some issues for them. Overall they are doing well.

'Cole is also doing pretty good. She loses her focus every so often, but she knows what she has to do to pull her grades up.

As for me...
I'm just plowing along. lol Holidays are stressful for me because there always seems like there's too much to do and no time to do it. I'm a planner so it helps me to plan out everything. I've been spending so time rediscovering myself. I've been Mommy for so long, I've almost forgotten who Kathy is. I'm enjoying getting to know myself again.

That's all for now. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving !

Pinky and Daisy's 12th Birthday Spectacular !!

2010-10-10T15:14:00.002-04:00

Pre-teen girls at a hotel. I'm just glad I didn't have to clean up. lol

They all had alot of fun. We were joined by the kids' maternal bio-cousin. She seemed pretty nice. We talked about things. The kids really didn't react too much to her. They said hi and reluctantly gave her a hug.

They played at the waterpark. They played in the pool. They watched movies and ate themselves silly in the hotel room.

Bad Pickles

2010-10-07T20:24:00.005-04:00

Pickles is having a rough school year so far. He's a bright child that thinks he can get by on his looks and sense of humor. He goes to school and sits in class. He doesn't do ANY work. He likes to wander the hallways of the school. Not getting in trouble.... just not being where he's supposed to be.

The one thing he used to have going for him is that he's charming and adults usually like him.

When I went to open house a few weeks ago I found out he doesn't even have that anymore.

His social study teacher looked at him with a look I can only describe as malice. He looked like he wanted desperately to wrap his hands around my son's throat.

Pickles has been my son for many years. Seven or eight I think. I have never seen him blatantly act disrespectful towards an adult. He was awful. I couldn't believe THIS was my child. Rolling his eyes, making smart comments under his breath.

I was totally stunned.

He is now grounded. I am in constant contact with the teachers. I wish they would have contacted me before things got sooo bad. His grades are in the toilet. He is in credit recovery so that hopefully he'll get enough credits to graduate. HE doesn't seem the least bit bothered by this. At all.

Back to School 2010

2010-08-29T21:51:00.005-04:00

Well, so far it's everything is going good. The kids are back at school and we are trying to settle into a routine.

Pickles and 'Cole are in the 10th grade and Pinky and Daisy are in the 6th grade.

This will be the first time I don't have kids in elementary school. I'm a little sad... Excited that everyone is growing up, but just a little sad.

I remember the girls' first day of Kindergarten. They were so small, so nervous. I walked Pinky to her class first because she was in tears. I stayed for a minute then walked around to Daisy's room. Daisy waved, happy to see me and I waved back. Then I left.

I miss my little kids. Life seemed simpler then. (funny how you get nostalgic, when the trying times are just a distant memory)

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

2010-08-22T10:05:00.003-04:00

Not Christmas, silly....
I'm talking about Back-To-School. Yay!!
I love summer, but all good things must come to an end.
The kids have had a great summer, with a few exceptions.
The school supplies have been bought, the shoes, the clothes are done. Kids have their schedules.

I'll have two 6th graders and two 10 graders. I'm hoping this turns out to be a great school year.

A New Day

2010-08-19T19:46:00.002-04:00

Today I feel better. I think I'm coming to a place of understanding, thanks to the wisdom of my co-worker. I actually feel like I can breathe today and that is a good thing.

I started writing a letter to the bio dad and now I feel like I can do it with love in my heart. I know what my focus is and it has never changed. I love these silly, goofy kids and would give them the world.

Maybe there were things I needed to hear, so my heart would be in the right place. I think I'm there now. ..or at least closer to being there.

I am soooo not the Babysitter

2010-08-18T22:46:00.004-04:00

But apparently that's what the kids' bio father thinks I am.
He told Pickles he would have him "tattooed up" before the end of the year.
He also corrected what they call themselves, referring to them by their birth names.
Promised the girls every expensive electronic device under the sun.

My brain is tired. My heart is heavy.

Bio Family found the kids on Facebook

2010-08-15T22:00:00.003-04:00

I got a facebook freind request from the bio cousin of my youngest kids this morning. By tonight their father sent my son a friend request.
I'm absolutely in shock. I knew it would be possible for them to find them... I guess I just don't know.
I added their cousin as a friend.

I'm just stunned. My son was ok with adding his dad, but doesn't want anything to do with the cousin.

Been Caught Stealing....

2010-08-07T09:34:00.003-04:00

Again!
Our babysitter took the twins and two of their friends to the local waterpark. While the sitter and Pinky were in the changing area changing clothes Daisy wandered over to the gift shop and took a necklace and bracelet. She was caught by security.
Because of her age they did not press charges. If she had been twelve, they would have called the police.

Her punishment from me is that she is banned from the waterpark for a year, and she is banned from going into any store until the end of this year AND if she has to go into a store she cannot walk around by herself and she has to keep both hands on the shopping cart at all times.

I thought we had worked through this. There hadn't been any stealing incidents (that I knew of) since last year. She had money earlier this week. I lowered her allowance because she refuses to her chores and when she does do them I have to ask her five times just to get her moving.

She didn't even seem phased by the whole situation. No fear. No remorse. No regret.

What am I going to do with this kid ??

Family Meeting

2010-08-03T08:59:00.003-04:00

I love family meetings. It puts everybody on the same page. Helps me to map out my expectations and let's the kids have an opportunity to vent and talk. There are only two simple rules. 1. Everyone has a chance to talk. 2.No one can get in trouble for what they say, as long as they say it in a respectful way.
We talked about back-to-school shopping. I explained to them how much money was available (not much), we talked about types of shoes and clothing they would be able to get.
We talked about household issues. Chores and keeping the house clean. We also had to review the house rules, because some folks have selective memory.
It ended up being a really good, hopefully productive meeting.

Next stop....The dreaded back-to-school shopping. *screams*

I hate back to school shopping. I absolutely unequivocally hate it.
The teens do pretty good, I can tell them what their budget is and they normally stick to it. I've taught them to shop sales and clearance. They usually do a pretty good job.

The littles....wellllll.....that is a totally different story. A back-to-school shopping trip usually ends up in anger, pouting and possible tears. They like to go to EVERY store in SEVERAL malls. Because they are looking for "the perfect outfit". They have to look at every shoe in every shoe store. It has never ending up being a fun time. (at least not for me)

I've tried buying some of their clothes and shoes online. The problem with shopping online is you just can't get a good feel for the clothes and you can't tell what it looks like on you.
They've grown so much over the summer, I know they need to try on some stuff.

Sigh.....

100 Things About Me

2010-07-18T11:13:00.005-04:00

1. I think too much.
2. My favorite colors are purple, blue and pink.
3. I like dogs and my family owns three.
4. I wrote poetry in high school.
5. I used to draw and paint.
6. I procrastinate....alot.
7. I love to read.
8. I hate drama.
9. I've got four adopted kids.
10. I love to travel.
11. I want to travel around the world.
12. I spend a lot of time online.
13. I don't date.
14. I hate paying bills.
15. I love to cook.
16. When I was a teen, I owned my own home bakery.
17. I hate talking on the phone.
18. Sad movies make me cry.
19. I dream about opening an art studio for kids.
20. I love ice cream !
21. I still watch cartoons.
22. People think I'm funny.
23. I like to write stories, but I never finish writing them.
24. I think Robert Downey Jr. has beautiful brown eyes.
25. I like oatmeal cookies.
26. I could be comfortable living on a deserted island. (as long as I had Internet and books to read. lol)
27. I started working when I was 12. (delivering newspapers)
28. My mother was my best friend.
29. I'm impatient.
30. I'm quirky.
31. I like cinnamon and sugar on my peanut butter sandwiches.
32. I speak a little french. (just a little)
33. I hate when people use my stuff without asking.
34. I love learning new things.
35. I like staying in hotels.
36. I love camping.
37. The beach is my favorite vacation.
38. I hate 2% milk.
39. I love kid's cereals.
40. I love Italian food.
41. I love Mexican food.
42. I love Asian food.
43. I could eat lasagna every day.
44. I don't like to go to restaurants by myself.
45. I didn't go into a bar till I was 30.
46. Kit Kat's and Twix are my favorite candy bars.
47. I hate math.
48. I love science.
49. When I was a kid I wanted to be a parapsychologist. (someone who studies paranormal activity)
50. I once lived in a haunted house .
51. My room is cluttered.
52. There's a tv in every room in my house except the bathroom and laundry room.
53. I watch tv once or twice per week.
54. I work as a custodian.
55. I've been a janitor/custodian for 15 years.
56. I don't like being a custodian....it's boring.
57. I wish I had went to college.
58. I like cold pizza for breakfast.
59. I don't wear a watch.
60. I have big feet (size 11w)
61. I'd live in Hawaii or Australia if I could.
62. I can't swim.
63. I'm afraid of heights.
64. I don't like roller coasters.
65. I only go to amusement parks and fairs for the food.
66. I wish I were a better parent.
67. I like iced coffee
68. I don't like cream-filled donuts.
69. I love the mini-donuts they sell at fairs.
70. I like to stare at the moonlit sky.
71. I think tornado-chasing is a cool job.
72. I like to throw parties.
73. I hate doing laundry.
74. I check my facebook page every day.
75. I hate getting up early.
76. I don't balance my checkbook.
77. I love to scrapbook.
78. I don't iron clothes.
79. I always wanted ten kids.
80. My favorite movie is 'Yours, Mine and Ours' (the old one, not the new one)
81. I like big old houses.
82. I like being single.
83. I'd rather be cold than hot.
84. I like walking around barefoot.
85. I love Bath and Body Works products.
86. I've never had a pedicure or manicure.
87. I've always wanted to go horseback riding.
88. My second favorite movie is 'The Lion King'
89. When I grow up I want to change the world.
90. I like to sing.
91. I like video games.
92. I don't like bubblegum.
93. I hate going to the doctor.
94. I like peace and quiet.
95. I hate to be ignored.
96. Being at home makes me happy.
97. I miss my mom every day.
98. I think raising teens is harder than raising little kids.
99. I've always wanted to go on a train ride.
100. I've never flew in a plane.

Yay!! I'm finished.

When I Grow Up

2010-07-17T19:04:00.003-04:00

It seems kinda funny for a 37 year old to wonder what she wants to do when she grows up, but I am wondering...

I always pictured myself travelling the world, kids in tow or sitting in a park, my entire family sketching in our sketch books. Pondering how the light reflects off the trees.

Instead I have a job I tolerate, a co-worker who makes me consider murder....daily. A life that is not as fulfilling as I'd like it to be. We've done so much this year and I feel pretty good about our adventures, but they've only left me wanting more. It's like a hunger I can't satisfy.... a thirst that can't be quenched.

If I could, I'd sell the house and spend a year travelling the world.

Maybe I'm feeling my mortality. Maybe it's because the kids are growing up. Whatever it is...I just don't feel settled anymore. My mind constantly says "let's go, let's go".

Maybe I just need a change of scenery. A new venue.
I have no idea what it is, but it feels almost primal. I feel like I should be anywhere, but where I am now.

Dogs and Puppies

2010-07-11T07:50:00.004-04:00

Last weekend we got a new family member. Her name is Java and she is a 7 week old Labrador/shepherd mix. She's such a cute little critter. Full of puppy energy and sharp puppy teeth. Our 2 year old Pit/Rot mix Rowdy can't stand her. He has been afraid of her since the day she came home.

Yesterday we loaded up Java, Rowdy and two of Java's siblings (who belong to my sister and niece) and went to get everybody their vaccinations. Rowdy has never ridden in a car before. He weighs about 60-70 pounds and he practically sat on my lap the entire ride to the vet. He also drooled uncontrollably. He drooled on my shirt, my arm and most of the front seat of the car. He also drooled out the car window. (sorry to any vehicles behind us or next to us....I'm sure you didn't know you would wander into a Rowdy-powered car wash.)

We finally made it to the clinic and unloaded everybody. They all behaved themselves and got their shots. Then we had to load everybody up and bring the home. By the time I got back I was fur covered and wet from Rowdy drool. A good time was had by all. LOL

Camping trip 2010 (Part 3- Day #3)

2010-06-08T17:14:00.004-04:00

Monday was Packing Up Day. After another breakfast of Pancakes and sausage we got to work taking down tents and cleaning up camp. Once everything was done the kids went back to the beach for one last time and swam until it was time for us to leave.

I really enjoyed myself and I'm sure everyone else did also. It was amazing looking up at the sky and seeing it filled with stars. Simply beautiful. I have to say the dark at night was really dark. I can't ever remember being anyplace so dark. It's funny the amount of noises you hear at night. You want to get up and check and when you do you can't see anything.

Looking forward to doing it again soon.

Family Camping trip 2010 (Part 2, Day #2)

2010-06-08T16:55:00.007-04:00

Day #2 Sunday

Sunday was our first full day at camp. We started off with some issues... mainly no socks, needing bigger pan to cook pancakes in, and a few other small things. So we headed off to Wal-Mart while my niece figured out a way to cook pancakes and sausages for 10 hungry kids.

By the time we got back to camp my niece had finished cooking breakfast and the kids were off playing ball and swimming. We decided to rent some bikes for the gang and they were off... tearing around the campground, having fun, smiling and laughing.

'Cole drove a car for the first time. She did pretty good. She really enjoyed herself.

We finished off the day with a ghost story and the kids retired to their tents happy, content and a bit leary that an indian ghost might come by in the middle of the night.

Family Camping Trip 2010 (A Tale of Rains, Winds, and No Socks)

2010-06-08T09:09:00.012-04:00

This past weekend was our first family camping trip. The 14 of us spent the weekend at Indian Lake State Park in Lakeview, Ohio.

I have to say this one thing...none of our trips ever go easy. We always have some sort of trial that (hopefully) makes us stronger and more united in the end.

Day #1- Saturday Rollout And Arrival Day- I really wish I had taken a picture of the amount of stuff that we took on this camping trip. We looked like we had 50 people going instead of 14. We filled the storage area of the van and the trunk of the car and still had to stuff stuff in every available nook and cranny. It took about a half hour to get our gear loaded up. Then we were finally able to hit the road.

We arrived at the campground a little after 3am. It was humid and warm but it wasn't too bad. Rain had been threatening all day. We immediately set to work putting up the tents.

My daughter Pinky has developed an amazing talent for putting up tents (and taking them back down, too) She put up one of our larger tents almost entirely by herself .

We spent the rest of the day getting familiar with our surroundings. Some of the kids headed to the beach for a swim, others went up to the camp store for basketballs for a quick b-ball game.

Dinner was hamburgers and hot dogs, we were hard pressed to get the kids to eat something. they played until they wore themselves out.

The wind had started to pick up late in the evening, but there was no sign of rain. The rustling of the trees was non-stop. By 2am the rain had started. Torrential rains, heavy winds, thunder and lightning...everyone was concerned but nobody said anything. The tents held up amazingly well. They barely moved in the wind, maybe that's why we weren't as worried as we probably should have been. We found out the next day a tornado had hit a city 34 miles from where we were.

About 4am I had to make a potty run. I NEVER have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The storm was churning around us and I had to go to the bathroom. I tried to wait it out, but the sound of the rain hitting the roof of the tent was making matters worse. Finally, I had no choice... I threw on my shoes and raincoat and hiked over to the bathroom. It wasn't a long walk, but it was long enough. By the time I got back to the tent my socks and shoes were soaked.

It was at that very moment that I remembered that I did not pack any socks. Neither had any of the kids. Now I have wet socks and shoes and cold feet.

By morning we were just glad we made it through the night.

Tent Try Out Day

2010-05-31T20:36:00.004-04:00

In order to make sure we know what the heck we're doing, we decided to spend the day putting of the tents. My goal was to #1 make sure we could put the tents up and #2 Make sure we had all the parts.

Tent #1 Went well. I am so pleased with this tent.

Tent #2 did not go so well. (At all) One side is missing the brackets that attach the legs to the tent frame. Well, technically it has brackets...just not the right ones. So tomorrow I'm going to call the manufacturer and hope they still make brackets for the tent.

Tent #3 is made the same as Tent #2, but it has all the right parts. Yay!! We didn't put it together, we just took inventory and made sure everything was there.

All three tents are roomy and nice, I love them.

Yes, We're Going Camping !!

2010-05-31T09:15:00.002-04:00

Campsites is reserved and of course it is going to rain. lol We're going anyway. I'm am so excited I can barely contain myself. I want to go to stores like Gander Mountain and act like I know what the heck I'm doing.

We have a few odds and ends left to buy plus all the food. I really want to set up one of the tents today, because I've never done it before and because the excitement is killing me. I finally told the kids about the camping trip and they are so excited.

Camping Trip Shopping

2010-05-30T07:30:00.000-04:00

My dear sister (who drove pass gas that was $2.34 a gallon) and I hit up the yard sales in search of equipment for our camping trip. I think we did an amazing job and I'm sooooo happy with what we ended up with.

We got...
3- 8 person Northwest territory tents (sold at Sears retail price $200)
10 gallon water jug (sold at Home Depot for $29)
1 queen air bed (sold at Cabala's for $129)
3 sleeping bags
4 flashlights
12 hot dog skewers
1 two burner camp stove ($49 retail at Dick's Sporting Goods)
1 one burner camp stove

Total Price we Paid.... $ 200

Dear Judy went out the day before and found
1 small tent
4 Nice sleeping bags
2 fishing poles
3 hot dog skewers
all that for $50

Those Were The Days

2010-05-19T00:16:00.003-04:00

I miss the days of little girl problems. Which doll to play with, which friend can come over, which little boy is teasing. Life seemed so simple back then.

Next year I'll have FOUR teenagers in the house. Just the thought of it makes me want to run away screaming and hide in the garage until they're all eighteen.

'Cole and I have had our moments, but they were few and far between....until she got a boyfriend.
Now every week we have some sort of battle over this boy and my expectations for her behavior.

Every. stinking.week.

I told her today (after a long 2 hour long "discussion") that I was beginning not to like her anymore.

She's sooo unpleasant to be around, I find it really hard to even want to be in the same room as her. The only thing we ever have a disagreement about is this boy. I have got to find this girl a job or something to occupy her time.

I'm tired. tired. tired. tired.

Cinnamon Rolls

2010-05-16T22:35:00.003-04:00

Funny how things just pop into your head when the house is quiet.
A few years ago I found a wonderful recipe for cinnamon rolls online. My mother loved to bake and when she saw the recipe she immediately made them for us. They were so fluffy and tender. Full of cinnamon, brown sugar and butter. We ate ourselves silly. We had them for breakfast. We had them for snacks. We ate cinnamon rolls when there wasn't even a reason to eat cinnamon rolls. LOL
Her and kids would be in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cinnamon rolls and they'd have flour everywhere including all over them. The loved being in the kitchen with their grandmother She was always patient with them and they would have lively conversations about any and everything.

I was just sitting here thinking about my mother and those rolls. She taught me how to cook. She taught me that food can create memories and that good food is always cooked with love.

The recipe is here.

For the filling my mother used an equal part sugar and brown sugar.

Spring Break 2010- New York City (Part 2)

2010-05-09T13:24:00.005-04:00

After finally making our way to Niketown (which is pretty close to Central Park), we hiked back to Times Square Crowds waiting for the Ipad at the Apple Store.

We ate lunch at a pizza shop on Times Square and then I decided we should take the double decker bus tour. I thought it would be the easiest way to see the city.

The Bus Tour was ummmm.... 3 hours long and we all fell asleep. LOL It had to be the most boring city tour I've ever had. We did get to see a lot of the city (between nodding off) Tribeca, Chinatown, Battery Park, the World Trade Center site, the Statue of Liberty and I know there was a bunch of other places we slept through.

I was so glad when it was over. We called it a day and headed back to the hotel. We had dinner at Chipotle and went to see a movie. We were too tired to walk around, but not tired enough to sit in the hotel and look at each other.

The next day was Sunday...our last day. We had considered going back to NYC but nobody felt like dealing with the throngs of people in the city. Plus, we had to be at the bus station in Newark, NJ in the afternoon.

New York City was an experience like no other. Times Square was awe-inspiring. I understand why they call it the city that never sleeps. It was an incredible experience.

Spring Break 2010 - New York City (Part 1)

2010-05-09T12:55:00.009-04:00

I thought I had posted out trip report about NYC... but I guess I'm getting old and forgetful. lol

We spent the first weekend in April in NYC, I have to say I have never seen soooo many people in my life. We left our city a little after midnight and got to our hotel in Secaucus, NJ about 5- 5:30 Saturday afternoon. After settling in we ate dinner at Cheeseburger In Paradise and then headed on over to the Big Apple.

By the time we rolled into NYC it was about 10:00pm. Times Square is amazing at night. The lights are so bright it looks like daytime. It was very crowded.
We hung out for about and hour and a half before the kids started complaining about being tired and wanting to go back to the hotel.

As we were headed back to the Port Authority Bus Station we found a cool souvenir store and picked up some I (heart) New York t-shirts.

The next morning started with breakfast (free) down in the hotel lobby and then we were off again. Pickles wanted to go to the Niketown store first. Niketown was about a 2 mile walk from the bus terminal. So we walked and walked and walked and took in the sights.

Daisy and 'Cole

Ice Skating at the Rockefeller Center

St. Patrick's Cathedral

To be continued......

Sigh...

2010-05-06T21:27:00.002-04:00

Is it possible to run away from something when you don't even know what you're running from ?

Life

2010-05-01T11:04:00.006-04:00

My son just rubbed air freshener on himself. Now he smells like mountain spring or spring meadow. LOL

The mother of my daughter's boyfriend suggested/requested that she spend the night last night. My dearest teen aged daughter thought I would be ok with it.
Riii-iii-ght....

What would make a parent think it's ok for a teen girl to spend the night at her boyfriend's house??

So dear teen daughter has an attitude with.... drum roll please....ME.

I am not going to entertain such nonsense. It's ridiculous. I can't believe my daughter would think I'd be ok with it.

Sigh......

Happy 16th Birthday !!

2010-04-16T11:37:00.001-04:00

April 16th, 2010

Dearest 'Cole,
I remember 12 years ago a caseworker called me and asked me if I was interested in adopting a four-year old girl. I told her sure and she said she would bring a picture of the little girl out to me. She came over the next day with a manila folder that contained a picture and some info about you. I looked at the picture and knew immediately without any doubt in my mind that this little girl was my daughter.

I remember the first time we met at your foster mother's house. You came over and sat next to me and we talked. I felt my heart sing.

Over the years we have experienced so many things together. We’ve grown up together. We’ve laughed together. We’ve cried together.

You have been my daughter for twelve years. I love you immeasurably. You have brought so much joy into my life. You are my daughter and my friend. I have enjoyed watching you grow up to become the young woman you are today. You are a great person. I am honored and humbled to be called your mother.

I hope your future is full of wonderful things. I hope we share many more adventures together. Happy 16th Birthday.

With lots of love,
Mommy

Turning 37

2010-03-28T10:44:00.003-04:00

Lately I've been plagued by feelings of wanting to get away, run away. Escape. Things are mediocre and I'm bored with my life. The kids are growing up too fast. I miss the days of them all being small. 'Cole will be 16 in April, Pickles will be 15 in July and the twins will be 12 in October.
The days seem like they are rushing by.

There are things I want them to experience as a family. Things I want to show them.
The first vacation I went on was when I was somewhere around 18-21 years old. I had just received some money from an accident settlement and my mother and I rode down to her hometown in Georgia. 25 hours on a Greyhound bus. It was interesting. I got to meet family members I had never met before, but it didn't feel like a vacation. The highlight of the trip was going to a Piggly-Wiggly for the first time. LOL

From that moment on I decided that my kids would see more than the city of their birth and so would I. We would have adventures together.

I got a slow start with our adventure plans. Myrtle Beach in 2005, Hocking Hills State Park 2009, Pittsburgh earlier this year. My thirst for travel has not been quenched. There is still so much I want to experience, so many places I want to go.

I turned 37 years old last week. I don't feel any older or any different. I just feel like I'm ready for my adventure now.

Brrrrr

2010-01-28T18:36:00.002-05:00

OH.MY.GOODNESS.
Why is it sooooo cold ??

Thank goodness for my slanket . Now I just need a cup of hot cocoa and Hugh Jackman and I'll be nice and toasty.

Growing Up (Facebook Edition)

2010-01-26T07:18:00.003-05:00

The kids have tons of pictures on their facebook pages, so I thought I'd borrow a few of my favorites.

Kip's Great Adventure

2010-01-23T17:01:00.004-05:00

Last weekend we met Cole's new "boyfriend", "Kip". He came by last Saturday and then came back around on Monday.

Cole, Kip and Pinky walked to a nearby park. Pinky didn't take her coat, so they decided to come back to the house to get it for her. Cole and Pinky came in the house and Kip stood in our front yard messing around with his bike.

Cole was standing in the door waiting for Pinky and watching Kip when she realized that Rowdy was in the house.
Mommy: "Don't let the dog out."
Cole (in her best annoyed teen-girl voice): " I'm not gonna let the dog out."

It was at that exact moment that she opened the storm door and allowed it to shut. But in our lovely home you have to PULL the door shut to get it to latch. She didn't do that. Rowdy, hearing the door open, sprang to his feet and shot out into the front yard.

Rowdy circled Kip twice and proceeded to um...how shall I say this nicely....
ummmm....he proceeded to make happy with Kip's leg.

Rowdy can be a bit intense when he is "making happy" with a leg. He was humping like crazy. Had a good grip. He was really enjoying that leg. Really. enjoying. it.a lot.
Kip was screaming "Help ! Help ! I'm being violated !" and " You're the mom, you're not supposed to laugh."

Yes, I'll admit it. I laughed. I laughed hard. I almost wet myself.

Meanwhile, Cole is now in the front yard posing like Miss America, checking her nails...fixing her hair.
Mommy: Aren't you going to help your boyfriend ?!?"
Cole: " Ewww...I don't want to get dirty."

Pickles is the house watching the scene from the window laughing his head off.
Pinky finally dislodged the dog from Kip's leg and poor, poor Kip made a beeline for the house.

It took us about 5 minutes to round up the dog,(he gets really excited after he's had him some leg) and Kip finally went back outside after we put Rowdy in the house.

I told Cole in passing if he still talks to you after all that, he must really like you a lot.

He's still talking to her.

Self sabotage (or Why things don't always go as planned)

2010-01-18T10:04:00.003-05:00

It almost always happens. I usually see it coming.
I try not to mention exciting activities, because I know it causes their behavior to spiral out of control.

I was supposed to take the kids roller skating today....
I sent 'Cole a text message telling her of our plans. She's usually pretty good about not telling anyone anything because she knows what usually happens.

She told Daisy. Daisy told Pinky.
Trouble brewed all day yesterday. Brewed like a carafe of Starbucks coffee.
I tried warnings and probably even some threats.
I even allowed Pinky to invite a friend over to play hoping it would cause them (the twins) not to fixate so much on each other.

It worked until the friend went home.

It wasn't a knock-down-drag-out fight as usual.... but it did involve hitting and crying.
And of course no skating today.

Still Present and Accounted For

2010-01-16T14:43:00.004-05:00

Well, we are 16 days into a new year. Everyone is just plugging along. The children dropped the new computer on the floor, luckily it didn't break.

Pickles is grounded and has been because of his terrible grades.
'Cole is in L.O.V.E with a boy. It'd be cute if it weren't so sickening.
Pinky has major pre-teen attitude.
Daisy is just Daisy.

I've recovered from Christmas and I feel pretty good about the new year. This is the year of fixing up our home. We've lived here 10 years and the house is starting to look like we've been here 10 years.

My first home-improvement project for this year will be the main bathroom. New paint, new flooring and new bath accessories.

I feel pretty positive so far this year. Everyone gets a fresh start and a chance to make things better.

So what do I do now....

2009-12-25T10:43:00.003-05:00

I hate the fact that Christmas feels ruined. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I've been mad and sad and it's only 10:45am.

Everyone came and gave me their weak apologies.
Somehow I don't feel any better.

At all.

The house is soooo quiet you can hear a pin drop.

Welcome to the Jungle

2009-12-25T05:34:00.002-05:00

came home from work yesterday (Christmas Eve) only to find that someone found the HIDDEN spare key to my room and decided to come in and go shopping.

When questioned everyone denied everything.

I have spent $2000 (that I really didn't have) just to make sure they had a nice Christmas.
I am tired. Heartbroken. Angry.

Christmas is cancelled.

When Cute Puppies Grow Up

2009-11-21T07:13:00.003-05:00

Remember this little guy ?? All sweet and tiny ?

Well, he grew up....

His favorite things to do are eat, eat, steal stuff, scratch, sleep and did I mention EAT ??

Holiday Prep

2009-11-21T07:06:00.002-05:00

I have considered running around in circles and screaming....but then no work would get done.

Wasn't it JUST August ?? How did we get to Thanksgiving so fast ?

Right now, the house is pretty quiet. The twins are at a sleepover. The teens are still in bed.

I've got carpet cleaners coming today, I've got some touch-up painting to do around the house somebody needs to give the dog a bath (he smells like bacon),
And of course my least favorite thing to do.....laundry.

But surprisingly enough I feel very relaxed. I'm only one person and I can only do so much.

I love love love the holidays, but this year I refuse to allow myself to be owned by them.

Today I am Thankful for....

2009-11-16T23:06:00.002-05:00

My four kids.

They are funny.
Sweet.
Kind.
And wonderful.

They make my heart giggle.

Even when things are tough, I know we'll be okay.

I'm glad to have them in my life.

Thinking

2009-10-24T22:39:00.002-04:00

Somedays I look at the kids and amaze at how fast they are growing up.

I wonder if I've done my best for them.
I wonder if I've given them 100%.
Will they have happy memories ?

I know I'm not the best mom in the world.
I'm not always patient.
Or understanding.

I get tired.
And cranky.

But we talk a lot
And we laugh a lot.
And have fun together,
and love each other.

They know that I don't lie to them,
Or make promises I can't keep.
They know I work hard for them.
They know that I love them.

I know there are days when I should do more
Hug more.
Touch more.
Praise more.
Tell them I love them more.

Do my actions speak louder than my words ?
Do they see that I love them ?

Autumn Updates

2009-10-04T17:42:00.006-04:00

Time is moving along rather nicely in our little house. The kids are settling into their back-to-school routines.

High school has really changed 'Cole. She's a totally different person. So outgoing and really enjoying her high school experience. She loves going to the football games and pep rallies. She even went to HOMECOMING !! In a DRESS !! Her grades are still outstanding and she seems pretty motivated and focused.

Pickles has been plowing along. He's decided he's all about fashion and spends almost all the money he gets on clothes. His grades are just ok.

The twins have been acting like a pair of donkeys. Most of their unacceptable behavior has leveled off, but now I'm left with them arguing and bickering with each other everyday. They are doing ok in school but neither one of them is working on a fifth grade level.

I have been back and forth to the dentist for an abscessed tooth. I had a root canal last week and now I finally feel better. I've been doing some stuff to the house trying to get ready for the holidays.

Today I spent the morning holding a beautiful baby boy named Jhourne. He was born just last week. He looked so calm and peaceful sleeping in my arms. Now I'm tired.

Have a great autumn.

The Central Vermont Caboose 100th Anniversary Celebration

2009-09-07T21:26:00.004-04:00

Avery at Work.

Cousins on the back of the caboose.

Daisy, Alexis and Pinky

Avery and Pinky

Avery driving the train.

Cousins and Auntie on the train.

First Day of School

2009-08-26T10:52:00.005-04:00

Today is the beginning of a new school year for the kids. I have 2 fifth graders and 2 ninth graders. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. As I stood on the playground with Pinky and Daisy this morning I remembered their first day of kindergarten. They both clung to my arms and Pinky cried. They both begged me to stay.

Today the ran off with their friends and chatted in line. Only Pinky looked over at me ever so often just to see if I were still there. I stood over against the wall and watched my two youngest daughters and their friends. It seems like Pinky and Daisy grew up a bit over the summer. They were a little more self-assured and relaxed with their peers.

They'll be 11 years old in October. In my Mommy mind it seems like it was just yesterday when they were two tiny scared 3 year olds standing in my living room with their 8 year old brother. I did not know they were going to be my children then.
We've had some rough times over the years, but I have no regrets.

I hope they all have a wonderful first day.

Ohio State Fair 2009

2009-08-09T16:28:00.004-04:00

It was hot. and not in a good way.
We met up with my sister and her family

We enjoyed Funnel Cakes, Mini Donuts,

Smoked Turkey Legs, Lemon-Shake-ups, Iced Tea and who knows what else.

My dear sister hamming it up with the Ohio State fair Marching Band.

We ran into Abraham Lincoln at the Natural Resources Park.

Pinky and the gang went for a spin on the Bumper Boats.

Little Black Girl

2009-08-02T00:22:00.005-04:00

There is a little black girl on my street.
She has big brown eyes and long dark hair,
She lives in a tall white house
With her mother, her father, her sisters and brothers.
She loves school and loves to read.
She knows big words that most 8 year olds don't know.
Her imagination guides her on adventures everyday.
I watch her from my door.
She smiles and waves.
I smile and wave back.
I see many things when I look at her...
I see that she wore the same clothes all week.
I see that she played outside all day and never went in to eat.
I see that her sister's hair hasn't been done all summer.
I see that her mother sleeps till noon,
and her father has a "job" that involves making lots of phone calls
And meeting people outside her house all hours of the day and night.
I see that she has been a wonderful friend to my daughters.
I see how she watches them
I see how she looks at their clothes.
I see her sadness.
I wonder if she knows that she deserves the world
And that she is worthy of being alive
And that there are people who care.
And that she doesn't have to be alone.
Today I gave her clothes.
I listened to her sing.
I watched her play.
I watched her go home when the sky darkened and night came.
I hope she has sweet, happy dreams.

Yo Ho, Yo Ho a Pirate's Life For Me

2009-07-12T19:08:00.009-04:00

So we went to Chicago and almost everyone got grounded on the trip.

The level of rudeness was amazing. Kids running around like they've never had ANY home training.

Kids whining and complaining about EVERY little thing.

It was so bad that my usually calm, collected sister lost it and gave everyone a stern talking to.

The trip itself took 5.5 hours longer than it should have. Due to a Series of Unfortunate Events.

Everything was good until my sister had the misfortune of leaving her cellphone at a rest stop. She was able to track it down, but we had to turn the bus around and go back for it. That really wasn't soooo bad.

Then the bus blew a fan belt on the highway, somewhere near Holy-Cow-Where-The-Heck-Are-We, Indiana. The driver tried to fix it...but couldn't so we limped to the next exit which was 3 miles away.

After at least an hour or so of mechanics trying to fix it and waiting for a part, we were rescued by a mechanic who not only came with the right part, he also brought a bus....just in case.

So we were off again. I think we were somewhere in Illinois when we hit a five-mile long traffic jam.

We made it our hotel about 7:30pm. ~~Tired.~~ Exhausted....and the hotel misplaced our reservations. Lovely.

By about 8pm everything was straightened out and we were in our rooms. (which were beautiful)

We misplaced the boys for about 35-40 minutes. (They ended up in a room in another tower) By the time we found them and got out of the hotel, the fireworks were in the middle of the finale.

***Day 2***

Started out with a very nice buffet breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Then we were off on our grand Chicago adventure. The weather was gloomy, and we all KNEW it was going to rain. (or judging by our luck, Chicago would have it's first hurricane) We visited the Hancock Observatory, took the Gray Line Double Decker bus tour. It started to sprinkle on the bus tour, but we stuck in there and rode to the Taste of Chicago. The big food festival. It was crowded. I hate crowds. We sampled a few things. The kids tasted Gelato, which was heavenly.

We hopped back on the Gray Line, by then it was raining and we were laughing like maniacs as the rain was pelting us in the faces on top of the double decker bus. We rode over to the Field Museum. (not crowded) We took in a few exhibits and ate lunch.

We ~~fought for~~ hailed a taxi and headed back to the hotel.

It was there that 3 of my children decided to act like they needed an Exorcist.

Luckily it was time for the bus to come so we could head back home.

It was a short trip, but it was the most exhausting trip I've ever taken with my kids. They just do not do well in larger groups. Too many distractions.

Pictures from Chicago

2009-07-10T22:13:00.001-04:00

Pictures are from Hancock Observatory, Field Museum and Hyatt Regency Chicago

It was an interesting trip.

I'm Soooooo Excited

2009-07-01T23:51:00.002-04:00

We are spending part of the 4th of July weekend in Chicago. I've never been there before. I can't wait !!

Family Field Trip (Part 2)

2009-06-02T23:32:00.007-04:00

After visiting Hocking Hills we drove a few miles down the road to Lake Logan State Park. We had a cookout and the kids rode around the lake on paddle boats

It was nice watching a group of city kids having fun without a video game or tv in sight.

There were a few squabbles among the 10 year old girls. They all wanted to be in charge. (Lots of chiefs...no Indians)

Then we rented a Pontoon boat. It was my first time on a boat. I have to admit I was leery at first, but then I relaxed and enjoyed the ride around the lake.

Family Field Trip (Part 1)

2009-06-02T23:17:00.005-04:00

Sunday we spent the day with my sister Judy, her grandkids, boyfriend and his son at the lovely Hocking Hills State Park.

I have always wanted to go there and we could not have picked a lovelier day. The only down side was the amount of walking we had to do to get from Point a to Point b, but truthfully, the work was well worth the reward.

Awe-inspiring does not do justice to the beauty of the area.

I feel blessed to have been able to experience such a lovely place. Even though there were lots of people touring the area, you could still pause and be surrounded by the greatness of it all.

Henry David Thoreau once said "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. " No truer words have been spoken.

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-11T22:11:00.003-04:00

It actually turned out pretty good. Pickles and 'Cole helped me make a huge breakfast. We had Pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs and toast.

I mostly just sat around and tried to relax.

I did want to go to the zoo, but I didn't feel like spending money on people who steal.

I love love LOVE the card that 'Cole gave me, which said :

"Sometimes I look at everything
That's going on in this world
and I thank the Lord for the mama he gave me.
A loving mama to hold me in her arms,
but a strong mama who knows
when to let me go...

A hardworking mama
to teach me diligence
but a joyous mama
who knows how to cut loose.
A brave mama to discipline me,
but a wise mama
who knows the difference
between being trifling and just being a kid.

On Mother's Day and always,
I'm so thankful that the Lord chose me
for that very wonderful mama He made.
And for the very wonderful love we share."

I love that kid. She certainly has a way of saying exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.

I NEVER Imagined I'd I'd Have To

2009-05-09T15:21:00.005-04:00

I just finished installing a lockset on my bedroom door. It appears I have people in my home that I cannot trust.

Every year right before school starts I shop all the back-to-school sales and buy tons of school supplies on sale. I buy so much it usually last longer than one school year.

I keep all these items in a file cabinet in my room.

You can see where I'm going with this.

I checked the file cabinet the other day and found it almost empty.

There's been other incidents over the past few months that led up to this. :

Someone tried to use my computer (But couldn't because it is password protected)
Letters have been rifled through.
A credit card was stolen and taken to school.
Candy was stolen.
And numerous things have been used and/or removed without my permission.

I'm tired. The school supplies are the last straw. I never imagined I'd have to put a lock on my bedroom door. I've been in other adoptive parents' homes where they had locked rooms.... but I never in all my imaginings thought I would have to do it.

It's not a totally rotten weekend though. 'Cole bought me a Mother's Day Card and some AquaGlobes for my houseplants. Pickles planted the Hydrangeas I bought at work yesterday. I started my container garden with some Bachelor Buttons and Dwarf Asters.

We might take a nice trip to the Columbus Zoo tomorrow. That's one of my favorite places and I know it'll help relax me.

Happy Mother's Day to All my favorite Moms !!

Pickles Suspended

2009-05-07T12:04:00.000-04:00

Pickles got suspended for missing an after-school detention two weeks in a row.
I reminded him the night before about it. (both times)
I should have written it on the back of his hand in permanent marker. I wasn't going to let him stay home so he had to go to work with me. He sat in my office all day and worked in a workbbok. I tried to make it as boring as possible.

Sigh.... I'm so glad school is almost over.

Things Kids Say (April)

2009-04-21T22:41:00.003-04:00

Cole: "Pickles smells like a male stripper."
Mommy:"How do you know what a male stripper smells like?"
Cole: "I don't, but I bet they smell like funk and cheap cologne."
------------------------------

Pickles: "Mommy how do you spell roof ?"
Mommy: " How do you think it's spelled?"
Pickles: "Um.... r-u-f-f ?"
Mommy: "No that's ruff. Roof is R-o-o-f."
Pickles: " Are you sure... it sounds like it should have a u in it ?"

Happy 15th Birthday 'Cole

2009-04-16T23:55:00.000-04:00

Today 'Cole turned 15. Where has the time gone ?

It seems like it was just yesterday I was being shown a picture of an adorable 4 year old girl. I knew when I looked at that picture that this girl was going to be my daughter. She has brought me more joy than I could ever imagine.

Love ya, Kid

You're the best.

Easter 2009

2009-04-13T23:22:00.000-04:00

Of course there's no pictures. You would think out of three adults somebody would think to bring a camera....but no it didn't happen.

We started out the day before Easter with a fun-filled Family Day. My sister Judy and I took the eight kids (my four and her four grands) roller skating. The kids all love being together and had a great time. Judy's boyfriend Richard soon joined us and brought his son and another boy.

I hoped that everyone would be so tired from skating that they would all need a nice long afternoon nap. Ha ! Those folks were wound up like human yoyos.

So we left skating and went bowling. I think the only people who got tired at the bowling alley was the grownups. I know I was ready for a short nap at that point, but not the kids.

My next suggestion was a nearby park. Nothing like being out in the fresh air to tire a kid out. Right ?

Apparently not.

The funny thing about taking city kids to a park is what I like to call Grass Overload. It's just too much for their little minds to handle. They aren't used to all that green and all that fresh air. They were in a park where they could run and play. We had playground toys and there was tons of playground equipment. They mostly just stood around and looked at the other kids playing. Where did they want to play ?? In the parking lot, of course.

I just want to say that when I was a kid I loved playing in the grass. I loved (and still do) they way the grass feels between my toes.

We were probably there maybe an hour, before everyone started to complain about being "starving" and "so hungry they couldn't play". So we drove over to Cici's Pizza. Great way to feed kids... a pizza buffet. It's genius I tell ya. I wish I would have thought of it.

After they ate and played in the game room we drove to a little viewing area out by the airport and watched the airplanes land. Again the kids wanted to run and race on the gravel driveway. (but they wouldn't do it in the park...I'm still trying to work that one out in my head)

Then we headed home. Finally my kids were a little tired. I still had work to do, I had to boil eggs for coloring and finish assembling our Easter baskets. I'm pretty sure I didn't get to bed until way after midnight. I know Judy was up doing the same thing.

Easter Day was pretty quiet, the kids colored their eggs and I cooked dinner. A very simple end to a lovely weekend.

Vote for 'Cole's pet picture

2009-04-05T14:55:00.003-04:00

http://www.gadzoo.com/Dispatch/Contest/ContestRatePhoto.aspx?ContestID=225&ContestEntryID=17335

You do have to register to vote...sorry. But we'd love your support.

Little Girls with Teenage Attitude

2009-03-31T22:47:00.004-04:00

Maybe it's something in the air. Maybe it's the fact that they've been cooped up inside the house all winter. Maybe they need a job.

The twins get up arguing and go to bed arguing. They argue about arguing. (I didn't even think that was possible)

"Don't look at me!"
"Don't touch me !"
" Don't breathe on me!"
"Don't touch my stuff !"
" Don't eat your food like that"
" Don't talk to me !"

The funny thing is that when you separate them, they complain about not being able to play with each other. LOL

They are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable.

It's bad enough having two actual teens in the house who are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable, but add two ten year olds to that mix and you have one mommy who is becoming close friends with Advil and Tylenol.

The fights start over nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. They can be sitting quietly drawing, reading or doing homework and the next thing you know we're at The Main Event. It's never any physical violence, but they've been saying some pretty rude, mean and hateful things to each other.

I'm open to any unique ideas. I've tried all the usual stuff (grounding, separating them, discussions about being nice, restrictions) I think once the weather warms up and they spend more time playing with other kids, perhaps things will get better. Until then.... maybe I'll invest in some ear plugs.

* 36 *

2009-03-24T06:48:00.003-04:00

As of 3/24/2009 5:54:16 AM EDT
I am 36 years old.
I am 432 months old.
I am 1,879 weeks old.
I am 13,149 days old.
I am 315,581 hours old.
I am 18,934,914 minutes old.
I am 1,136,094,856 seconds old.

Statistic from http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp

Today the kids and the babysitter are downstairs decorating the kitchen for my birthday.
My sister is taking me to the casino in Wheeling, WV.
My sisterfriend Lynn brought me an ice cream cake (Strawberry cheesequake from Dairy Queen... Yum !)

Today I feel totally blessed and happy.

Things That happen When Mommy is not at Honme

2009-02-17T22:14:00.002-05:00

How does a puppy get pancake syrup all over his fur ??

That's all I'd like to know.

(I asked the puppy and he looked over at the kids)

Now he smells like old gym shoes, fritos and syrup.
And who would be the lucky person to give him a bath....any volunteers ??
No ?
Then I guess it'll be me.

Darn kids.

Ramdom Monday Things

2009-02-16T09:18:00.004-05:00

1. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored.
2. Three of my kids woke up arguing this morning. How do you wake up arguing ?!?
3. I had lasagna for breakfast and it was good.
4. I feel like running away from home to become a beach bum.
5. I've got a stack of pictures (from 2006) that I need to scrapbook...but I don't feel like doing it.
6. I feel like buying something stupid.
7. All of the kids are over at the library. It's just me, the dog and peace and quiet.
8. I wonder where squirrels do their business at ? You never hear anyone say "Aw man, I just stepped in some squirrel poo!"

February

2009-02-06T21:30:00.002-05:00

Everything has been pretty calm and quiet so far this year. We did have an incident with Pickles accidentally breaking a window pane out of the back door. Typical Pickles stuff (" I swear Mommy I don't know how that happened.")

The foul weather here (cold, snowy and icy) has left all of us with a serious case of cabin fever. This weekend should be warmer so maybe we'll get out of the house and enjoy the day. The kids really need to burn off some of that pent-up energy.

That's all for now.

New Years Eve

2009-01-01T00:41:00.004-05:00

We spent the evening playing Guitar Hero and American Idol Karaoke Revolution Encore 2 on the Wii and snacking on pizza, wings, and other party type foods.
Pinky and Daisy fell asleep at about 9pm, I dozed off and on until midnight and 'Cole and Pickles played Guitar Hero until 12:30am.
I had ran to walmart earlier to pick up the games as a surprise for the kids and boy were they ever surprised. We love love love our Wii. Even a year later I can still say it is money well spent.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T10:12:00.004-05:00

Christmas is forever, not for just one day,for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do yourself...~Norman Wesley Brooks

From all of us here in the House of Bananas.

" I swear Mommy I don't know how that happened !"

2008-12-25T09:48:00.003-05:00

Pickles has some issues with electronics. That means that anything electronic that he touches will break, mysteriously in his hands.
It's never his fault. He never knows how it happens. It just does.

And usually not just with electronics. Almost anything he touches is doomed to break somehow. He's like a hurricane in a thirteen year old body.

And whenever something happens to get destroyed/damaged/maimed his standard answer is; "I swear Mommy, I don't know how that happened !"
I hear that phrase ALOT. Sometimes more than I'd like to.

Yesterday I was sitting in the living room watching tv, all he was doing was standing (he wasn't moving at all) in the middle of the floor holding a box of Whoppers candy, next thing I know Whoppers were flying through the air and one just about hit me in the eye. (Thank Goodness, I wear glasses)

I took a moment to recover and then asked him, "What the heck was that ?"
His answer... " I swear Mommy, I don't know how that happened."

I know he's at that big goofy awkward stage...but sheesh....

A wall in his bedroom has a dent/crack in it. He doesn't know how it happened.

His playstation 2 got broken. He doesn't know how it happened.

The plastic container we keep dog food in is cracked. He doesn't know how it happened.

His backpack ripped down the side. He doesn't know how it happened.

His mp3 player stopped working. He doesn't know how it happened.

A calculator was broken into a million pieces on the floor of his bedroom. He doesn't know how it happened.

The base of a vacuum cleaner got broken. He doesn't know how it happened. (Probably because he bounced it down the steps, on his way to clean his room)

Some of his video games don't work. He doesn't know how it happened. (Probably because he was sliding them across the carpet and rubbing them together.)

Thank goodness, he's such a nice person and a great kid or else I probably wouldn't buy him anything. ever. again.

Christmas Party 2008

2008-12-22T20:19:00.004-05:00

My sister Judy delighted kids and adults alike with a wonderful Christmas party yesterday. Tons of good food, wonderful entertainment, and great fun. It seemed like the one thing the kids loved doing the most was running. They ran in circles, they ran back and forth, they ran left to right, they ran right to left and they slid across the floor. They only time they settled down was to do their talent show, eat dinner, make their snowman craft project, decorate Christmas cookies and play Bingo.

Then they ran around some more.

The party is always great fun and it only gets better every year.

Here are some pictures...

The Great Room Switch

2008-12-14T09:13:00.005-05:00

We spent the weekend cleaning Granny's room out, repainting and getting it ready for the twins. They are so excited. We went to Home Depot and picked up some paint. (Pink and Baby Blue) and they painted yesterday. They've been moving their stuff down there ever since.

Did I mention they were excited ??

But not as excited as 'Cole who is finally getting her own room. She's done most of the work. Right now she's taking the bunk bed apart. Yes, you heard me correctly. She's up early (8am) taking the bunk beds apart. I was so surprised.

Everything should be finished by 11 am.

Thank Goodness it's Almost Friday

2008-12-11T23:08:00.005-05:00

It's been a rough week. I'm tired. I feel beat down.

Everyone is doing ok. I had to read the kids the riot act because of the mess they create everyday while I'm at work.
They're only home alone 1 hour in the morning and an hour and a half after school. Everyday this week I've came home to some sort of crazy mess. Yogurt dribbled down the side of the refrigerator, pancake syrup on the living room carpet, puppy chewed ornaments off the Christmas tree, toys scattered everywhere and other stuff I can't even think of right now.

But... we had a little talk Wednesday night and when I came home Thursday the house was CLEAN !! Dishes done and everyone was sitting watching tv. I was in an INSTANT GOOD MOOD. It was a wonderful thing.

I'm all caught up on the laundry and the housework.
My Christmas shopping is about 70% complete.
Looking forward to a nice peaceful weekend.

Thanks and Warmest Regards

2008-12-07T22:48:00.002-05:00

This has been a trying week in our family, but we made through. I could not have done all that I needed to do without the help and support from many people. I have never planned a funeral before and I hope and pray that I never have to do so again.

Firstly, let me thank all of the people who read and/or comment on my blog . Your support and prayers have been like a rainbow after a storm.

To my Sister, Thank You. I would have been totally lost without your advice and guidance this past week. (even though you had no idea what you were doing either) I am forever in your debt.

The funeral itself was full of tears, full of joy and full of love. I was touched by the words of the many people who spoke at the service, people who knew my mother and those who didn't.

And now I begin the task of adjusting to life without her.

No Day But Today

2008-12-01T22:08:00.002-05:00

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Today that is how I feel, right now at this moment.

Yesterday was rough, but I made it through.
Today was not bad.

I went to work today because I needed a normal day. A day like every other day.
My relatives are coming up from Georgia.
I'm planning a funeral and I have NO IDEA what the heck I'm doing.

I have tried not to allow the grief of others swallow me up. (That happened yesterday) I know what my mother would want. I hear her voice inside my head saying "What the hell are you crying for !?! I'm the one who's dead."

And she's right.

Today she was with me. I felt her spirit touch mine and it gave me strength.

Can't Sleep

2008-11-30T02:17:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've been electrically charged.

I knew she was tired. I could see that she was too tired to fight. Everytime I went to see her she was a little further away.

I feel some sort of weird mixture of sadness and relief.
I'm glad she doesn't have to be in pain.
But now...she's gone.

The last thing she said was that she loved me.

I only cry when I stand still.

Gone

2008-11-30T01:50:00.001-05:00

My mother passed away tonight.

Granny Update

2008-11-25T23:43:00.004-05:00

I wish I had good news. But I don't. Granny went to the rehabilitation center yesterday and today they had to send her back to the hospital because her blood pressure started dropping during dialysis. Tonight they moved her back to the ICU because her wound (from the open heart surgery) isn't healing and may have become infected and she's unresponsive.

It's so hard to see her like this. I know she's scared, but she always put on a brave face for me. I went to see her Sunday and we had a nice conversation, I updated her about things at home and told her how much I missed her. I asked her if she was ready to come home and she shook her head no. I feel like she's starting to give up.

It's so hard to focus on Thanksgiving. I feel like my mind is in a million different places.

Movie Night and Other Updates

2008-11-16T06:57:00.003-05:00

We had a nice family movie night. We watched Kung Fu Panda, which was surprisingly good to me. We also watched Speed Racer, which was just ok. We made these cookies, which are easy and fun.

I had the house to myself for a few hours Saturday, 'Cole went bowling with her friends and all the other kids went to a birthday party. I tried to watch a movie, but just couldn't relax. I ended up vacuuming and dusting.

The kids are doing well, still adjusting to not having Granny around. The new babysitter is giving me a slight headache. Overall she's doing a great job, but we've had a few issues. (things getting broke, turning the thermostat down so we came home to a cold house)

Nothing major, just small annoyances.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It seems like it was just summer a few weeks ago. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love cooking, so I get to do two of my favorite things... cook and entertain people.

It's going to be a little strange this year, I'm used to Granny being in the background watching me cook and offering advice.

Heartaches

2008-11-15T06:36:00.002-05:00

First off I wanted to thank everyone again for their thoughts and prayers. It's hard not to feel like I'm traveling this road alone. (I know I'm not...but still)

It's been a long week.

Granny is doing ok. But I can tell the difference. She cannot walk at all, probably from being bed-ridden for the past three weeks. It was decided that she'll go into a rehabilitation center for a while to regain her mobility.

She won't tell me how she feels about this, but she's telling everyone else that I "don't want her any more" and that I'm "sending her away".

And it's breaking my heart.

The only thing I want for her is for her to be happy and the only place she'll be happy at is at home, but I can't take care of her here. This house isn't made for wheelchairs and even if I put ramps in outside, we still have stairs inside. She'd need someone here twenty-four/seven.

When I went to see her on Thursday, I fed her dinner. Talk about a surreal feeling.

She kept picking up the utensils and looking at them like she had never seen them before. She couldn't recognize her refection in a mirror.

She's so confused about things.

And so am I.

Relief

2008-11-11T23:12:00.002-05:00

We went to visit Granny today and I was surprised when I saw her sitting up, relaxing. The doctor stopped all medications except for insulin and a mild painkiller. Boy, did that make a difference.

She still got out of breath easily, but she was able to hold a conversation. She had been sitting up in her chair before we got there.
It was wonderful !

It still looks like Granny has a long way to go. The doctor was talking about a month or two of rehabilitation therapy before she'll get to come home.

Thank you everyone who sent prayers and please keep them coming as we pray for Granny to get stronger so she can rejoin us at home.

Can You Imagine.....

2008-11-08T23:50:00.002-05:00

Walking into a hospital room to find your mother strapped to a bed ??

When I woke up this morning I never, never, never dreamed I would encounter such a thing.

Two days ago my mother could at least form complete sentences.
Today she didn't know where she was.
Her entire vocabulary was reduced to about 10 words.
She kept trying to pull all the wires and IV's out of her.
She kept trying to pull her gown off.

Two days ago she was laughing and joking with me.
What the heck happened in TWO days ??

God, Give me strength.

Update on Granny

2008-11-06T22:14:00.003-05:00

Well, Granny had her heart bypass surgery Monday. I wish I could say she's doing better.
I wish I believed it.

Tomorrow they're going to give her a pacemaker to help regulate the beating of her heart. Earlier today the two upper chambers of her heart stopped beating for a short period of time. The changed her medication and she looked pretty good this evening when I visited with her. She didn't eat much, just said she was tired and not hungry.

The house seems so quiet without her here.

I just don't want her to be in any pain.

Pray for Granny

2008-10-30T22:36:00.004-04:00

Last Friday I had to call 911 for my mother (AKA Granny) because she was having trouble breathing. The paramedics came in, took one look at her and hauled her off to the hospital.

Today she had a procedure (cardiac catheterization) to send dye up into her heart to see if anything is closed off.

And it was.

Monday she goes in for bypass surgery.

Her kidneys are failing because of her uncontrolled diabetes. The heart surgery may be too much for them to handle and she may end up on dialysis.

She's got a lot of fight left in her.
I just hope it's enough.

Today my heart feels heavy. I almost broke down crying in Wal-Mart this afternoon. Which is completely NOT me.

Everyone's been so kind. "Just let us know what we can do." they say.
Heck,I'm not used to asking for help. I wouldn't even know what to ask for.... besides a miracle or two.

I feel like my best friend is about to go away and never come back.

Overheard

2008-10-24T04:35:00.000-04:00

'Cole to the twins : "There's a booger on my television. You guys are gross."

Neighbor kid to Pinky:" I love UDF ! I love UDF ! It's my most favorite place ever."

Daisy to Pinky: " I wanna kill some. How come you think you get to kill all of them ?" (Discussing flies and/or gnats that have invaded their bedroom. )

Pinky to Daisy: " What did that cough medicine taste like"
Daisy: Like rotten cherries."

Pinky to Rowdy (the dog) : "Come on Rowdy you aren't supposed to be in the kitchen when Mommy's cooking."

'Cole to the Twins: "Ask Mommy if I can have a q-tip if feels like there's little people talking in my ear."

Why SOME teens don't need a cellphone

2008-10-22T09:46:00.004-04:00

Yes, that is my cell phone bill. Yes, that is Pickles' portion of the bill. For a phone he only had ONE WEEK.

I'm still stunned. (and more than a little bit peeved)

I went over the rules about cellphone ownership with him. He was not to download anything or go online. I did get everyone on the plan unlimited text messaging. His little "girlfriend" was sending him music downloads and ring tones. His excuse was that "he didn't know he was downloading" when he accepted those items.

He is very VERY lucky that I have become a much calmer parent over the years, because seriously.....I wanted to snap his head off.

I only got him the phone because he walks almost two miles to school and for afterschool activities that would cause him to come home late.

The day we brought the phone home Granny warned me and I quote "Don't know why you did that...that boy don't know what to do with a phone."

Turer words have never been spoken.

Picture Perfect Monday

2008-10-13T07:26:00.002-04:00

Pinky and Rowdy

Pinky and "S" at playing High School Musical Sing It! at the Slumber Party

My Last Day of Vacation

2008-10-05T21:24:00.003-04:00

I wish I could say I'm well-rested. But I'm not. lol
Friday night the twins had a sleepover party for their tenth birthday. Five girls ages 11 to 7. They polished their nails and played Karaoke Revolution: American Idol Encore and High School Musical Sing It! For the Wii.

I have to say if you don't have these games (and you own a Wii) you are missing out on HOURS of fun. Even the grown-ups who came to get their kids couldn't resist picking up the microphone. Best money I've spent on Wii games so far.

Anyway, I'm still trying to recover from staying up with the girls. Today I visited one of my favorite places (The Home Depot) to look at some flooring for our main bathroom. I went to lunch with my sister and her boyfriend. It was a lovely last day of vacation for me. I'm ready to go back to work.

Mommy-Alone Time

2008-09-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm off work this week for some Mommy-Alone Time. So far it's been a beautiful thing. (except for the laundry that I needed to catch up on) I spent yesterday reading a book outside on the patio. I watched Rowdy chase butterflies around the yard. It was divine. No one looking for me, or asking me anything for SIX whole hours.
Today is Granny's 70th birthday, so I do have to run to the store this morning. For her birthday dinner we're having lasagna, salad, garlic bread and she wanted Paula Deen's Is It Really Better Than Sex Cake.

I do have to go to Open House over at the middle school tonight.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the children are on their merry way to school.

Yay !

Visit from One of My First Foster Kids

2008-09-29T22:01:00.004-04:00

This evening I got a surprise visit from my first foster daughter. She is now a lovely eighteen year old young lady.

I was so completely speechless as I looked at her. My mind drifted back to the first time I laid eyes on her. Seven years old, being moved from a foster home she had been in since birth. Her hair was matted in thick braids and she was so lost and forlorn looking. A tiny wisp of a child. She came with all her belongings, seven years of stuff tossed into two trash bags. Clothes that clearly were not hers and toys that looked like they were scavenged from a dumpster.

I took her shopping our first evening together. We went to Sears. I bought toys and clothes and shoes for her. On the bus ride back home she laid her head against my arm and sighed contently.

She was with me two and a half years. I gave her her first birthday party, her first pair of glasses, sat with her while she had minor surgery. I read to her, bought her her first bicycle. I loved her as if she were my own.
She brought me so much joy.

I looked at her today and it was hard to look at her.
It made my heart hurt.

Someone made a decision that caused her to have to leave my home, so she could be with a sibling.
It seems like it was so long ago and yet it feels like it happened yesterday.

I cannot change the past, but it's days like this that I wish I could.

Pickles and the Cellphone

2008-09-23T20:15:00.007-04:00

Last weekend we were at Sam's Club doing our mid-month shopping when a row of cell phones caught Pickles' eye. All aglow he steered me to the kiosk to look at them. I've been needing a new phone for quite a while now, so I was interested.

Saleslady: "We're having a sale on our smartphones, they're free with a two year contract!"
Mommy:" Swwwweeet."
Pickles: *drool*

So I looked over all the smartphones and I chose a cute little red BlackBerry Pearl. The saleslady then asked Pickles if he had a phone, (he didn't) and then she asked me if I wanted him to have a free smartphone.

So I looked at Pickles and then I looked at the phones. Then I looked at Pickles again....then I looked at the phones again. This went on for a few minutes. Pickles was trying to look as sad and pathetic as a 13 year old boy could possibly look.

But see...I know my son. He has no sense of responsibility. He doesn't take care of things. But.....he is a good boy. He is respectful and kind. Helpful and polite.

So after reviewing the House Rules Regarding Teens and Cellphones with him.....

I bought him a phone.

Jump to today....
Today I was on my way home from work (almost to the house) when guess who runs down the street to meet me ??

Pickles:"Hey, mommy how was your day today ??"
Mommy:" Great, as always."
Pickles: " Probably didn't have a busy day today...right?"
Mommy (Suspiciously): "Well, I did have a class this afternoon, so no I wasn't that busy."
Pickles:" Hey, we had an incident at school today."
Mommy (even more suspiciously):"Oh...?"
Pickles:" Yeah, somebody broke into my locker and ...."

For the past three years Pickles' lockers have been broken into EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. MULTIPLE. TIMES.
Why would you put the phone in a locker ?? You might as well drop the phone in the middle of the cafeteria during lunch time and yell "Free Phone !".

You already know what he's going to say. I know you do.
The phone is history after ONE week. Just ONE Week.

I'm just glad it was free.

He thought he could get NEW phone immediately. Sorry kid, too bad, so sad.
Pickles is out of the phone business, until it's time for an equipment upgrade....in about two years.

We had a long heart-to-heart talk about how sometimes people will covet what you have and will do anything to get it. That's why you don't go around bragging and showing off your nice things. Enjoy the blessings you've been given, without being boastful. Hopefully he learned something.

Thank goodness it was free.

Things Kids Say (September)

2008-09-14T22:10:00.002-04:00

Granny: Daisy, what is on your face ?? Go put some soap and water on a washcloth and wash your face.

Daisy: I can't wash my face with soap and water.

Granny: Why not ?

Daisy: If I use soap and water, I'll have to close my eyes....then I won't be able to find my face.

LOL