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Sunday, September 18, 2011

Broken Hearts and Broken Windows

I tried.

Pickles had court on Wednesday. The first charge was for truancy (from last school year), the second charge was theft. He tried to shoplift over $300 worth of merchandise from Sears.

The judge was ready to put him in jail. I should have let him. Maybe that's what he needs to see. Maybe that'll be what it takes for him to understand.

He's been going to school. Trying to make an effort.

But I guess when he saw he wasn't going to jail, he lost his little goofy mind.

He had a ride to get back to school after court, so I let him go. He didn't go back to school. Didn't come home. He didn't go to school Thursday. Didn't come home Thursday.

Late Friday morning the school called and told me he arrived late.  I didn't pay too much attention to it. I was just glad he had dragged himself to school.

Friday afternoon 'Cole texted me and said someone had broken the window of her bedroom and taken some money out of her bank. When I got home I noticed some clothes on the basement stairs. Pickles shirt... the one he had wore to court. That's when I knew who had been in my house.
I checked all the other windows, made sure nothing else was stolen. Filed a police report. I asked 'Cole how much money she was missing. She said a dollar and some change.

He swears he didn't break the window. He even had his alibi ready. He was on another side of town with my friend's son all afternoon. He couldn't have done it.

 But I know the truth.

He didn't do this in the afternoon. He did this Friday morning. After everyone left for work and school. He took the money for bus fare so he could get to school. That's why he got to school late.

My good boy. The one I never imagined would be this way.
My heart doesn't even have time to mend itself, before he does something else. Something worse.

There are things in my head that I never imagined I think about one of my children.
A dislike that grows with every incident. A coldness that fills me when I look at him.
Now...I'm just tired.

3 comments:

Mommy to the Monsters said...

I am praying for you....I so identify with this statement....


"My heart doesn't even have time to mend itself, before he does something else. Something worse.

There are things in my head that I never imagined I think about one of my children.
A dislike that grows with every incident. A coldness that fills me when I look at him.
Now...I'm just tired."

I keep hoping it will get better, done all that I know to do..somedays I just can't even look at them.....

I'm sincerely praying for you.

Mommy to the Monsters said...

Sad part is mine is just 5......I keep thinking Lord I can't do this for another 13 years....HELP US JESUS!

Kathy said...

I never would have guessed in a million years he would be like this. He's always been my boy. I thought we were close. Now when I see him, I feel like I'm looking at a stranger. Someone I don't know. Someone I don't trust.

The problems he did have always seemed small compared to this. He's always been destructive, a little impulsive.

I don't know. I wish I had some advice, something to give you (and maybe myself) hope.
All we can do is pray for them.