Things Kids Say (April)

Cole: "Pickles smells like a male stripper."
Mommy:"How do you know what a male stripper smells like?"
Cole: "I don't, but I bet they smell like funk and cheap cologne."
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Pickles: "Mommy how do you spell roof ?"
Mommy: " How do you think it's spelled?"
Pickles: "Um.... r-u-f-f ?"
Mommy: "No that's ruff. Roof is R-o-o-f."
Pickles: " Are you sure... it sounds like it should have a u in it ?"

" I swear Mommy I don't know how that happened !"

Pickles has some issues with electronics. That means that anything electronic that he touches will break, mysteriously in his hands.
It's never his fault. He never knows how it happens. It just does.

And usually not just with electronics. Almost anything he touches is doomed to break somehow. He's like a hurricane in a thirteen year old body.

And whenever something happens to get destroyed/damaged/maimed his standard answer is; "I swear Mommy, I don't know how that happened !"
I hear that phrase ALOT. Sometimes more than I'd like to.

Yesterday I was sitting in the living room watching tv, all he was doing was standing (he wasn't moving at all) in the middle of the floor holding a box of Whoppers candy, next thing I know Whoppers were flying through the air and one just about hit me in the eye. (Thank Goodness, I wear glasses)

I took a moment to recover and then asked him, "What the heck was that ?"
His answer... " I swear Mommy, I don't know how that happened."

I know he's at that big goofy awkward stage...but sheesh....

A wall in his bedroom has a dent/crack in it. He doesn't know how it happened.

His playstation 2 got broken. He doesn't know how it happened.

The plastic container we keep dog food in is cracked. He doesn't know how it happened.

His backpack ripped down the side. He doesn't know how it happened.

His mp3 player stopped working. He doesn't know how it happened.

A calculator was broken into a million pieces on the floor of his bedroom. He doesn't know how it happened.

The base of a vacuum cleaner got broken. He doesn't know how it happened. (Probably because he bounced it down the steps, on his way to clean his room)

Some of his video games don't work. He doesn't know how it happened. (Probably because he was sliding them across the carpet and rubbing them together.)

Thank goodness, he's such a nice person and a great kid or else I probably wouldn't buy him anything. ever. again.

Overheard

'Cole to the twins : "There's a booger on my television. You guys are gross."


Neighbor kid to Pinky:" I love UDF ! I love UDF ! It's my most favorite place ever."

Daisy to Pinky: " I wanna kill some. How come you think you get to kill all of them ?" (Discussing flies and/or gnats that have invaded their bedroom. )

Pinky to Daisy: " What did that cough medicine taste like"
Daisy: Like rotten cherries."

Pinky to Rowdy (the dog) : "Come on Rowdy you aren't supposed to be in the kitchen when Mommy's cooking."

'Cole to the Twins: "Ask Mommy if I can have a q-tip if feels like there's little people talking in my ear."

Things Kids Say (September)

Granny: Daisy, what is on your face ?? Go put some soap and water on a washcloth and wash your face.

Daisy: I can't wash my face with soap and water.

Granny: Why not ?

Daisy: If I use soap and water, I'll have to close my eyes....then I won't be able to find my face.


LOL

Things Kid Say (part 3)

Pinky: "Mommy could you please put some tobacco (Tabasco) sauce on my meat."

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Pinky: When I grow up I want to own a port-a-potty company. All my port-a-potties will be pink and they'll smell good too."
Mommy: "Pinky's Port-A-Potty Co. ?"
Pinky:"And they'll have pink toilet paper and pretty pictures on the walls."
Mommy: "I'm not sure guys will like using a pink port-a-potty."
Pinky: "Well, they can just go use those nasty green and white ones then."

Things Kids Say

Pinky was eating breakfast this moring and the sunlight was beaming in through the window blinds. She said "Mommy, could you please turn off the blinds ."