Pinky and Daisy's 12th Birthday Spectacular !!

Pre-teen girls at a hotel. I'm just glad I didn't have to clean up. lol

They all had alot of fun. We were joined by the kids' maternal bio-cousin. She seemed pretty nice. We talked about things. The kids really didn't react too much to her. They said hi and reluctantly gave her a hug.

They played at the waterpark. They played in the pool. They watched movies and ate themselves silly in the hotel room.

Been Caught Stealing....

Again!
Our babysitter took the twins and two of their friends to the local waterpark. While the sitter and Pinky were in the changing area changing clothes Daisy wandered over to the gift shop and took a necklace and bracelet. She was caught by security.
Because of her age they did not press charges. If she had been twelve, they would have called the police.

Her punishment from me is that she is banned from the waterpark for a year, and she is banned from going into any store until the end of this year AND if she has to go into a store she cannot walk around by herself and she has to keep both hands on the shopping cart at all times.

I thought we had worked through this. There hadn't been any stealing incidents (that I knew of) since last year. She had money earlier this week. I lowered her allowance because she refuses to her chores and when she does do them I have to ask her five times just to get her moving.

She didn't even seem phased by the whole situation. No fear. No remorse. No regret.

What am I going to do with this kid ??

Little Girls with Teenage Attitude

Maybe it's something in the air. Maybe it's the fact that they've been cooped up inside the house all winter. Maybe they need a job.

The twins get up arguing and go to bed arguing. They argue about arguing. (I didn't even think that was possible)

"Don't look at me!"
"Don't touch me !"
" Don't breathe on me!"
"Don't touch my stuff !"
" Don't eat your food like that"
" Don't talk to me !"

The funny thing is that when you separate them, they complain about not being able to play with each other. LOL

They are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable.

It's bad enough having two actual teens in the house who are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable, but add two ten year olds to that mix and you have one mommy who is becoming close friends with Advil and Tylenol.

The fights start over nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. They can be sitting quietly drawing, reading or doing homework and the next thing you know we're at The Main Event. It's never any physical violence, but they've been saying some pretty rude, mean and hateful things to each other.

I'm open to any unique ideas. I've tried all the usual stuff (grounding, separating them, discussions about being nice, restrictions) I think once the weather warms up and they spend more time playing with other kids, perhaps things will get better. Until then.... maybe I'll invest in some ear plugs.

Things Kids Say (September)

Granny: Daisy, what is on your face ?? Go put some soap and water on a washcloth and wash your face.

Daisy: I can't wash my face with soap and water.

Granny: Why not ?

Daisy: If I use soap and water, I'll have to close my eyes....then I won't be able to find my face.


LOL

When You Realize Your Child Is Different

I think yesterday I reached that point....or maybe I already knew and was in denial.

There was a group of 9-11 year old girls playing with Daisy and Pinky yesterday. The visiting girls were chatting and playing cards. They were talking about little girl things like Hannah Montana and jumping rope. Pinky was able to follow the conversation pretty good and was laughing and talking appropriately.

Daisy kept getting into each girl's personal space and started questioning them like was was a police interrogator. She was asking questions like; "Who buys your shoes for you ?" "Where's your dad at ?" "Do you get everything you want ?" As I watched I could tell the other girls were starting to get uncomfortable, they slowly started backing away from Daisy, who followed and kept getting really close. Finally they made an excuse and left and didn't come back.

Even 'Cole, who was sitting in the house, watching them out the window, noted that it seems like Daisy has the social skills of a Kindergartener.

Daisy is always the one who complains about not having any friends and it was interesting to watch this interaction yesterday.

I sat down with her and talked to her about personal space and about asking people personal questions. I don't think she understands how her actions affect other people.

I guess it made me realize how different Daisy is from other girls her age. She can be funny and delightful, but she can be really intense and in your face. She wants to Definitely something to work on.

A Flower with Grass-Is-Always-Greener Disease (Part 1)

Daisy seems to think every child in the world has such a wonderful life...except for her.
Why ?
Because Daisy and Pinky are not allowed to play in their room when I'm not home.
Because of the level of fighting/arguing that goes on between Daisy and Pinky we decided a long time ago that they cannot handle being unsupervised and playing in their room. They seem to do a little better when I'm home, and I can redirect them or put them in time out.
But when I'm gone and Granny is in charge....all heck breaks loose.
Yesterday, Granny called me to report that Daisy was crying and upset ("Everyone likes Pinky better, no one likes me"), because Pinky was breathing on her. Daisy was laying in her bed (bottom bunk) and Pinky was laying on her bed (top bunk) Pinky was asleep, but snoring rather loudly. Daisy felt like Pinky was being loud on purpose.
I had to roll my eyes at the silliness of this typical situation.
When I try to explain to Daisy that that behavior is one of the reasons why they aren't allowed to play in the room together, it seems like she just can't understand. Like it can't possible be HER behavior that is causing the problem. It must be because everyone hates her or as she says "Everybody else gets to play in their room and they don't get in trouble for fighting. I should have my own room"

To which I answer; "Daisy, dear.... you and Pinky fight every single day about something, If I can't trust you to play nicely together, then you have to come out of your room."

Daisy: "Well, why can't we watch tv when we come out of the room."
Mommy: "Because I don't allow tv watching during the school week."
Daisy: " Everybody hates me."
Mommy;" Why do you feel that way Daisy ?"
Daisy: " The cousins don't have to sit in a time out."
Mommy: " You don't really know that, dear...you don't live with them."
Daisy: " Is it snowing outside ?"

And just like that the conversation is over. Her mind is in a totally different place and there's no way to reach her.

It seems like a combination of her age (9) and personality. She has always been a negative person. Part of it goes back to her self-esteem issues. In her mind, I don't think she feels lovable.
She certain is my most trying child. It's hard to reason with someone who doesn't know how to be happy.

Grocery Day

Today was our weekly grocery shopping day, so I spent the day shopping with Pinky and Daisy.

First off let me say.... I love my daughters. I really, really do. But I hate shopping with them.

For my daughters the grocery store is like... Disneyworld.

It is a huge place full of interesting sights and sounds and people. To them it is almost as fun as Chuck E. Cheese. They could easily spend HOURS just poking the meat in the Meat Department.

I spent the entire trip saying:
"Please quit poking the meat."

"If you touch that again I'm going to make you buy it."

" Could you come back over here...please."

" We do not swing our sisters around in the store."

"You only have $9...no you cannot buy a $20 toy."

"If you keep playing in the store you are going to get hurt."

Five seconds after I said that last thing, I heard a BLAM from behind me. I look back briefly, Pinky is sprawled in the middle of the aisle.

I simply turned around and kept walking.

I'm a sympathetic parent...really I am. But after you've been told to STOP IT... well Mommy just isn't in the mood to kiss your boo boo.

So Pinky finished the shopping trip holding her hand in the air like a flag. (She had just the smallest scratch on it.)

Daisy had a piece of wisdom for Pinky after the incident. She told her

"Well, Mommy did tell you to stop."

Sometimes in order to learn something you have to learn it the hard way.