Saturday, December 22, 2007

A Flower with Grass-Is-Always-Greener Disease (Part 1)

Daisy seems to think every child in the world has such a wonderful life...except for her.
Why ?
Because Daisy and Pinky are not allowed to play in their room when I'm not home.
Because of the level of fighting/arguing that goes on between Daisy and Pinky we decided a long time ago that they cannot handle being unsupervised and playing in their room. They seem to do a little better when I'm home, and I can redirect them or put them in time out.
But when I'm gone and Granny is in charge....all heck breaks loose.
Yesterday, Granny called me to report that Daisy was crying and upset ("Everyone likes Pinky better, no one likes me"), because Pinky was breathing on her. Daisy was laying in her bed (bottom bunk) and Pinky was laying on her bed (top bunk) Pinky was asleep, but snoring rather loudly. Daisy felt like Pinky was being loud on purpose.
I had to roll my eyes at the silliness of this typical situation.
When I try to explain to Daisy that that behavior is one of the reasons why they aren't allowed to play in the room together, it seems like she just can't understand. Like it can't possible be HER behavior that is causing the problem. It must be because everyone hates her or as she says "Everybody else gets to play in their room and they don't get in trouble for fighting. I should have my own room"

To which I answer; "Daisy, dear.... you and Pinky fight every single day about something, If I can't trust you to play nicely together, then you have to come out of your room."

Daisy: "Well, why can't we watch tv when we come out of the room."
Mommy: "Because I don't allow tv watching during the school week."
Daisy: " Everybody hates me."
Mommy;" Why do you feel that way Daisy ?"
Daisy: " The cousins don't have to sit in a time out."
Mommy: " You don't really know that, don't live with them."
Daisy: " Is it snowing outside ?"

And just like that the conversation is over. Her mind is in a totally different place and there's no way to reach her.

It seems like a combination of her age (9) and personality. She has always been a negative person. Part of it goes back to her self-esteem issues. In her mind, I don't think she feels lovable.
She certain is my most trying child. It's hard to reason with someone who doesn't know how to be happy.

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