Saturday, August 7, 2010

Been Caught Stealing....

Our babysitter took the twins and two of their friends to the local waterpark. While the sitter and Pinky were in the changing area changing clothes Daisy wandered over to the gift shop and took a necklace and bracelet. She was caught by security.
Because of her age they did not press charges. If she had been twelve, they would have called the police.

Her punishment from me is that she is banned from the waterpark for a year, and she is banned from going into any store until the end of this year AND if she has to go into a store she cannot walk around by herself and she has to keep both hands on the shopping cart at all times.

I thought we had worked through this. There hadn't been any stealing incidents (that I knew of) since last year. She had money earlier this week. I lowered her allowance because she refuses to her chores and when she does do them I have to ask her five times just to get her moving.

She didn't even seem phased by the whole situation. No fear. No remorse. No regret.

What am I going to do with this kid ??


jen said...

I don't think mine stole from stores, only from me. Except my 17year old who shop lifted and was arrested. Then they found three other stores that she stole from. (on camera)

Not a good ending for that one as far as our relationship. She never accepted me as her mother. As far as her personal success, that remains to be seen.

I should ask the one that used to steal from me if she ever stole from a store. Would be interesting. Not sure if she us ready to share that information.

The big question remains... can peoople change. I have seen mine stop stealing from me so there is hope. When my older daughter moved out we all started to leave things like ipods out without fear so I know daughter #2 no longer steals from us. That is a very good change.

We can hope that they will get better but the only thing we can really do is let them know that we love them even if they don't. Hopefully they are strong enough to let us love them and maybe strong enough to stop stealing.

hugs - jen

Kathy said...

Thanks Jen,
I also wonder if she's stolen from other stores. I didn't believe so...but now I just don't know.

I do know Daisy and I get along like oil and water. I don't know how she feels about me being her mother, all I know is that she has been my most trying child. Do I feel like we've bonded? Somewhat. Do I think she can grow and change ? I don't know.

Some of it is self-esteem issues. The stealing might have been because they had friends with them. (Which is what I'm leaning towards)
She's generally NOT a happy person. She has alot of trouble finding joy in anything, including herself. She's only 11, what's it going to be like when she's 16 ??

Mommy to the Monsters said...

Aww I'm sorry to hear that...Will be praying for you....

Both of my boys had issues with stealing from other people. To my knowledge they never stole anything from the store... but they have been caught with other people's stuff when they clearly had no business having it.

I know they took it without permission because once they are caught they ALWAYS tell on themselves.

They haven't done it in a while (THANK YOU JESUS) but the last time my youngest stole some candy out of a woman's purse at my mom's church AFTER he was told he couldn't have anymore because he just had some.

Most people got on to me about making a big deal about it....but now it's candy, toy cars and money....later on it could be real cars and large sums of money....I quickly let them know it WAS NOT OK....and I DID NOT do it in a "very loving don't do that baby" kind of way.....I told them they were STEALING...and I used the word "stealing" and told them it was wrong, it's against the law and if they stole from the wrong person they cold end up in jail and lastly the Bible says it's wrong and God doesn't like....

And after a few "blessings" on the behind..we seem to have nipped it in the bud....

I'd rather do it now at 4 & 5 then when they are 14 & 15....

Btu anyway....seriously praying for you and sending u hugs....

Kathy said...

Thanks Farrah,
We've had many many discussions about stealing and what the bible says about stealing. It just doesn't seem to phase her. We've been dealing with this issue since she was 4. It doesn't appear to happen all the time, it just seems so random, I'm the one always blindsided by it.