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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I am soooo not the Babysitter

But apparently that's what the kids' bio father thinks I am.
He told Pickles he would have him "tattooed up" before the end of the year.
He also corrected what they call themselves, referring to them by their birth names.
Promised the girls every expensive electronic device under the sun.

My brain is tired. My heart is heavy.

3 comments:

Mommy to the Monsters said...

wow...I would have a serious talk to bio dad about boundaries. I would screen all communication. I am fortunate that my kids just thinks their bio aunt and cousins are JUST nice people we know... They have no clue they are "family"

I really only had one issue about them crossing the line and that was when they went into Boogy's class trying to see him without me being there. I am so glad that Boogy's teacher knew the situation and cut them off pretty quickly.....They weren't trying to be underhanded..just weren't thinking.....

After we had that little talk things have been ok.....They ALWAYS respect me as their mother (thank God)even when I had contact with Bio mom...she never disrespected my authority or position....she would always tell Boogy that he had to ask his mom ..any time he asked her anything.

He wanted to eat out of his aunt and his bio mom's plate one time and they both made sure it was ok with me first....I was like I don't care.....Boogy used to share a bed with the aunt...so they were very close at one point...

They were very careful not to step on my toes....and I truly appreciated it..even though they are really nice, I must admit, it still stirs of some feelings of insecurity within me....

Truly praying for you bloggy friend...

Mommy to the Monsters said...

The aunt he used to sleep in the bed with is a different aunt from the one we have contact with now....Dad has like 10+ siblings....I'm not exactly sure how many, but I know it's a lot between mom and stepmom and dad...

I'm not exactly sure how many bio siblings my kids have between their mom and dad either....

Kathy said...

The problem is that there's really no way to limit or monitor communications with the dad. The kids are older and have computer access from almost anywhere. There's no way I can keep him from contacting them.
I found out tonight he's been telling the kids they wouldn't be with me forever. I did have a long long talk with the kids. I told them nicely that I didn't think it was fair of him to act like the last eight years (how long they been adopted) didn't happen. I told them I loved them and would do anything in the world for them and my only concern is their happiness. I feel really good about the conversation. They are good kids and luckily (hopefully) we have a good bonded relationship.