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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Heartaches

First off I wanted to thank everyone again for their thoughts and prayers. It's hard not to feel like I'm traveling this road alone. (I know I'm not...but still)

It's been a long week.

Granny is doing ok. But I can tell the difference. She cannot walk at all, probably from being bed-ridden for the past three weeks. It was decided that she'll go into a rehabilitation center for a while to regain her mobility.

She won't tell me how she feels about this, but she's telling everyone else that I "don't want her any more" and that I'm "sending her away".

And it's breaking my heart.

The only thing I want for her is for her to be happy and the only place she'll be happy at is at home, but I can't take care of her here. This house isn't made for wheelchairs and even if I put ramps in outside, we still have stairs inside. She'd need someone here twenty-four/seven.

When I went to see her on Thursday, I fed her dinner. Talk about a surreal feeling.

She kept picking up the utensils and looking at them like she had never seen them before. She couldn't recognize her refection in a mirror.

She's so confused about things.

And so am I.

2 comments:

jen said...

Oh no, I thought she was getting better. :( Hopefully the therapy will help and her mind will clear up at least some. Bringing them into your home is often the worse thing for them at least until they have therapy. My fil insisted on going home and then he fell and hurt himself. It is like you go from being the child to being the parent.

Praying here...jen

Kathy said...

I thought she was doing better, too. I think she's having good days and bad days. I don't know what to expect anymore.