Sunday, July 1, 2007

"Nobody Likes Me" and How to Foster Self-Esteem in a Flower

Daisy's favorite things to say daily is "Nobody Likes Me". I remember when I started giving all the kids nicknames, Pinky was easy because she loves the color pink, and 'Cole used to be Long Tall Sally Or LTS, because she's so tall, Pickles name is a play on his real name and even teachers and kids at school call him that.
But Daisy was difficult, it took me forever to pick a nickname for her and one day while I was looking at my garden it came to me. Daisy. So I told her her nickname was Daisy. She instantly got teary-eyed and said "Nobody likes me, everybody calls me names."
So I had to explain...
"Um Daisy is a nice name, it's the name of one of my favorite flowers. I like daisies because even though they aren't fancy or showy they are just simply you."
She was OK with it after I explained why I picked the name for her, but it seems like she is very sensitive to anything she perceives as negative...even if it's not.

She gets picked on at school, but only because she tattles (A LOT). She doesn't know how to make friends (she does know how to, but she doesn't THINK she knows how to.)

She constantly compares herself to everyone around her and uses that to decides whether or not she is successful or a failure.

For example 'Cole draws very well and Pinky is good at gymnastics, but because Daisy is not great at either of those things she feels like a failure.

Until the day we went to the park so I could teach them how to play tennis. Daisy picked up a tennis racket and hit the ball like she had been playing her whole life. It was amazing to see how self-assured she was out on the court and I knew I had found her "thing".

So now comes the hard part, finding other things she's good at so that it helps build her up. Because she needs that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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Thanks Frank