Happy 17th !!

Always so proud of this beautiful girl. I know she feels unappreciated. I know I need to do better. Lately, I've been so involved in drama with Pickles, I've forgotten how happy this kid makes me.
She turned 17 years old on April 16th. One of her gifts from me was a trip to the Jersey Shore. She invited her best friend along and they had tons of fun. Ocean City, Atlantic City and everywhere in between. She gathered giant seashells from a beach, they shopped for cool stuff on the boardwalk, they walked along the beach and danced in the water. (It was way too cold for swimming.)

I'm happy and sad at the same time to see her grow up.
I feel like my house is full of so much drama, that the good kids and the ones who are trying just get pushed aside.
It makes my heart hurt.

But this weekend was stress-free. We had fun. The other kids were at home with the babysitter.
I felt soooo carefree and relaxed. I miss feeling like that.

'Cole...I love you. I hope you know it.

Pinky and Daisy's 12th Birthday Spectacular !!

Pre-teen girls at a hotel. I'm just glad I didn't have to clean up. lol

They all had alot of fun. We were joined by the kids' maternal bio-cousin. She seemed pretty nice. We talked about things. The kids really didn't react too much to her. They said hi and reluctantly gave her a hug.

They played at the waterpark. They played in the pool. They watched movies and ate themselves silly in the hotel room.

Happy 16th Birthday !!

April 16th, 2010


Dearest 'Cole,
I remember 12 years ago a caseworker called me and asked me if I was interested in adopting a four-year old girl. I told her sure and she said she would bring a picture of the little girl out to me. She came over the next day with a manila folder that contained a picture and some info about you. I looked at the picture and knew immediately without any doubt in my mind that this little girl was my daughter.

I remember the first time we met at your foster mother's house. You came over and sat next to me and we talked. I felt my heart sing.

Over the years we have experienced so many things together. We’ve grown up together. We’ve laughed together. We’ve cried together.

You have been my daughter for twelve years. I love you immeasurably. You have brought so much joy into my life. You are my daughter and my friend. I have enjoyed watching you grow up to become the young woman you are today. You are a great person. I am honored and humbled to be called your mother.

I hope your future is full of wonderful things. I hope we share many more adventures together. Happy 16th Birthday.


With lots of love,
Mommy

Turning 37

Lately I've been plagued by feelings of wanting to get away, run away. Escape. Things are mediocre and I'm bored with my life. The kids are growing up too fast. I miss the days of them all being small. 'Cole will be 16 in April, Pickles will be 15 in July and the twins will be 12 in October.
The days seem like they are rushing by.

There are things I want them to experience as a family. Things I want to show them.
The first vacation I went on was when I was somewhere around 18-21 years old. I had just received some money from an accident settlement and my mother and I rode down to her hometown in Georgia. 25 hours on a Greyhound bus. It was interesting. I got to meet family members I had never met before, but it didn't feel like a vacation. The highlight of the trip was going to a Piggly-Wiggly for the first time. LOL

From that moment on I decided that my kids would see more than the city of their birth and so would I. We would have adventures together.

I got a slow start with our adventure plans. Myrtle Beach in 2005, Hocking Hills State Park 2009, Pittsburgh earlier this year. My thirst for travel has not been quenched. There is still so much I want to experience, so many places I want to go.

I turned 37 years old last week. I don't feel any older or any different. I just feel like I'm ready for my adventure now.

Happy 15th Birthday 'Cole

Today 'Cole turned 15. Where has the time gone ?

It seems like it was just yesterday I was being shown a picture of an adorable 4 year old girl. I knew when I looked at that picture that this girl was going to be my daughter. She has brought me more joy than I could ever imagine.

Love ya, Kid

You're the best.

Picture Perfect Monday

Pinky and Rowdy




Pinky and "S" at playing High School Musical Sing It! at the Slumber Party

13

Yesterday was Pickles 13th birthday. Wow ! Where has the time gone ?!? He was just 8 years old when he and his sisters first came to my home. It seems like a million years ago. We celebrated with an outdoor video game party and cookout.

I like this kid, and not just because he's my kid and I'm totally blessed to have him in my life. I love his spirit. He has such a kind and gentle soul. He can be goofy and silly and sensitive all at the same time. He drives me completely insane with his curiosity (and questions) sometimes and then he goes and amazes me with the profound things he thinks.

Son, my world is a better place because of you.

14

"The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the empty skies, my love" - Celine Dion 'The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face'

Today 'Cole turned 14. She has been my daughter since she was 4 years old. I cannot imagine my life without her. She has brought me so much joy. I look at the young woman she is becoming and I stand amazed. She has overcame so much, she has a fighter's spirit and a dreamer's heart. A beautiful person, with a little teenage goofiness thrown in for good measure.

Even when she's being a teenage pain in my butt, I can look at her and see a future filled with wonderful things.

My love...I hope you have a wonderful year.

"When I see you smile

I can face the world, oh oh,

You know I can do anything

When I see you smile I see a ray of light, Oh oh, I see it shining right through the rain

When I see you smile

Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me" - Bad English 'When I See You Smile"