Almost Summer

I never seem to have time to blog anymore , but this is probably the time I need it the most.
This school year is slowly coming to an end... and I will be the first one to admit I'm happy to see it go.
Pickles has school attendance issues almost this entire school year. Somewhere along the way he's decided that he knows EVERYTHING he needs to know and doesn't see the point in an education. He told me he "has bigger dreams than what a high school diploma can give him" and that he " isn't going to work a 9 to 5 job, because he's going to be famous."

Tomorrow we have to go to Truancy Court, where he'll have to explain why he doesn't seem to be able to make it to school.

I am physically and emotionally drained. I have done everything I could short of quiting my job and walking him to school everyday. He hates school. Period. Always has. Before he became my son (age 8- third grade) He had been in seven different schools. His early life was about survival...not education.
He's blamed everyone and everything for his school issues, but in reality it's all him. The school has offered tutoring, the teachers offer extra help, I've sat down and tried to help him. Family members have tried to help him. People I work with have tried to guide him. He just sees it all as absolutely pointless.

Part of it is his personality. He's so laid-back and easy going, he has no ambition. None. He doesn't want to do ANYTHING he has to work hard for. He's not a bad kid. He's not disrespectful, he doesn't mess with drugs or alcohol. he just wants to do what he wants to do. (Hang out with his friends, shoot hoops, play video games)

Lately it seems like all my time and energy is spent dealing with him. I feel sooo bad for my daughters, they probably feels like they doesn't have a parent. I'm thinking about sending him to summer camp, we ALL just need a break for his drama.

I know I said it once, but I'll say it again....I'm tired.

Finding Value

The conversation on the way home from a Parent-Teacher Conference this morning.

Me: "People see something of value in you. Your teachers could have wrote you off. They could have said oh well, this kid doesn't want to learn. Heck with him. But instead they try to work with you, encourage you and support you. They see something of value in you."

Pickles: "How come all of you see it and I don't ?"

Me: " Perhaps you don't know what to look for."

He won't even give himself a chance. How do I teach him or help him to discover what he is capable of if he won't even give himself a chance ?
He loves being successful as long as he doesn't have to work at it.

I like him. He's a good kid. He's fun to talk to. He's calm, even-keeled, and loving. He's charming and charismatic. He CAN be successful. He could become anything he wants.

Why can't he see himself the way other people see him ?

Bad Pickles

Pickles is having a rough school year so far. He's a bright child that thinks he can get by on his looks and sense of humor. He goes to school and sits in class. He doesn't do ANY work. He likes to wander the hallways of the school. Not getting in trouble.... just not being where he's supposed to be.

The one thing he used to have going for him is that he's charming and adults usually like him.

When I went to open house a few weeks ago I found out he doesn't even have that anymore.

His social study teacher looked at him with a look I can only describe as malice. He looked like he wanted desperately to wrap his hands around my son's throat.

Pickles has been my son for many years. Seven or eight I think. I have never seen him blatantly act disrespectful towards an adult. He was awful. I couldn't believe THIS was my child. Rolling his eyes, making smart comments under his breath.

I was totally stunned.

He is now grounded. I am in constant contact with the teachers. I wish they would have contacted me before things got sooo bad. His grades are in the toilet. He is in credit recovery so that hopefully he'll get enough credits to graduate. HE doesn't seem the least bit bothered by this. At all.

Pickles Suspended

Pickles got suspended for missing an after-school detention two weeks in a row.
I reminded him the night before about it. (both times)
I should have written it on the back of his hand in permanent marker. I wasn't going to let him stay home so he had to go to work with me. He sat in my office all day and worked in a workbbok. I tried to make it as boring as possible.

Sigh.... I'm so glad school is almost over.

Feeling Better

Except for a cough, I feel pretty good. Thanks Kimmie for the home remedy suggestion, I'll remember it next time someone in the house gets sick.

Last night was Parent Teacher Conferences for the little kids. They are doing well. Pinky is experiencing some tween cattiness. The third grade girls have started bickering and gossiping about each other and are disrupting the classroom. There's also a boy who seems to be the cause of a lot of the drama. the teacher asked me what I thought, I suggested some team-building activities (having the girls do a project together that would promote co-operation and teamwork). She said she'd give it some consideration.

Anything has to be better than sending them to detention.

Pickles

I had my doubts about the school year in regards to Pickles. In the five years he's been my son he has never passed a math class. I've always believed he had he ability, but not the maturity level.
The report cards came out and he has a C.
I'm so proud. He still plays around a little too much, but he starting to retain some of the information.

His reading/language arts teacher is great,too. We communicate by e-mail and it has immediate results in her class. All she has to do is ask him if she needs to e-mail his mom and he straightens right up.

I'm so happy to see him have some success. Hopefully it will change the way he feels about school and improve his self-esteem.

The Downside to School Starting

Pickles, to me, is a great kid but he has a few school issues. He has struggled with most subjects and does horribly in Math. He has very basic understanding of mathematical concepts. Math, for him, is like expecting a Preschooler to understand Algebra.

Every year I come in and speak to the teachers, especially the math teacher. I try to explain to him or her that my son really needs a teacher who is patient and understands his limitations. He starts off every year with a willingness and a thirst to learn and by the middle of the year he's been beaten down by the failures he's endured.

Every year I have the same problem... Yes, he looks and acts like any other child in his grade, but after you spend some time teaching him you begin to notice that there is a problem, but you just can't seem to put your finger on what it is.

Every year I encounter teachers who are less than passionate about their jobs (the 6th grade science teacher spent her classroom time shopping online and watching YouTube)

Pickles has already been tested for a learning disability, and they claim he doesn't have one. So why can't my son understand math ?? His teachers last year said that he wasn't a "serious student" and that he "acted like he wasn't interested in the work".
Well, duh, it's kind of hard to be serious about something you don't have a clue about.

When he was in the 5th grade his teacher stated that " he asks too many nonsensical questions."
I had to (nicely) explain to her that it's not nonsense if you really don't understand what's going on.

He does not understand.

But.....
He does have the ability to understand. It just takes a little more time and effort to get the information into his head.

Pickles has worked on math all summer, he still is not even close to being where he should be. He getting better at it, but it's going to be awhile.

Maybe I'm not ready for school to start yet...