Maybe It's Me

Maybe I'm not doing this right. Maybe everything I thought about parenting is wrong,

Maybe I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

I'm starting to feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

I wonder if it's because all these kids are now teenagers ? lol

After a HUGE blowup yesterday between 'Cole and the twins, I feel like my home is full of chaos.

Here's the problem(s)

'Cole thinks that the twins get away with too much. They don't respect her. She thinks I don't discipline them enough. When they do something she perceives as disrespect she's ready to bash their heads in. Literally.

The twins think that 'Cole is the "favorite" child and gets EVERYTHING she wants. They don't listen to her because...well they don't respect her.

Huge fight occurred yesterday while I was at the grocery store. Ended with the twins fleeing the house for their lives.
Safely plan has been in place since the last BIG blowup...about a year ago.

'Cole struggles to control her anger.  Once she gets to her breaking point you can't pull her back. It's best to give her a lot of space and let her cool down. When she's in that state of mind you can't reason with her or talk to her. All she sees is what she perceives as an attack on her person.

The twins on the other hand are mouthy 13 years olds. They really don't know when to quit. Really. They think they're pretty tough. They talk a lot of trash.

Unfortunately, 'Cole isn't amused at their bravado.

And to think this whole situation started over the chore list.

Drama

Friday I got a call from the high school. The bio-dad of Pickles was there trying to sign him out for the day. For once the school did exactly what it's supposed to do and did NOT release my son to this man.

Things would've been so different if he had contacted me first. If the kids were open to seeing him, I would have been more than happy to arrange a visit. It all reeks of sneakiness. He doesn't want to contact me because he sees me as the babysitter.

He has NO respect for their current lives. They've moved forward and he's stuck in the past. He hasn't seen them since the twins were 4 and Pickles was 8. That's a lifetime to a child.

I'm glad that the kids and I have always been able to have open, honest dialogue. They told me immediately when he first contacted them and everytime he's ever tried to contact them.

I mentioned the school incident Pickles, he had no idea. The office didn't tell him his dad was there.

Now I have some decisions to make.

I am soooo not the Babysitter

But apparently that's what the kids' bio father thinks I am.
He told Pickles he would have him "tattooed up" before the end of the year.
He also corrected what they call themselves, referring to them by their birth names.
Promised the girls every expensive electronic device under the sun.

My brain is tired. My heart is heavy.

Kip's Great Adventure

Last weekend we met Cole's new "boyfriend", "Kip". He came by last Saturday and then came back around on Monday.

Cole, Kip and Pinky walked to a nearby park. Pinky didn't take her coat, so they decided to come back to the house to get it for her. Cole and Pinky came in the house and Kip stood in our front yard messing around with his bike.

Cole was standing in the door waiting for Pinky and watching Kip when she realized that Rowdy was in the house.
Mommy: "Don't let the dog out."
Cole (in her best annoyed teen-girl voice): " I'm not gonna let the dog out."

It was at that exact moment that she opened the storm door and allowed it to shut. But in our lovely home you have to PULL the door shut to get it to latch. She didn't do that. Rowdy, hearing the door open, sprang to his feet and shot out into the front yard.

Rowdy circled Kip twice and proceeded to um...how shall I say this nicely....
ummmm....he proceeded to make happy with Kip's leg.

Rowdy can be a bit intense when he is "making happy" with a leg. He was humping like crazy. Had a good grip. He was really enjoying that leg. Really. enjoying. it.a lot.
Kip was screaming "Help ! Help ! I'm being violated !" and " You're the mom, you're not supposed to laugh."

Yes, I'll admit it. I laughed. I laughed hard. I almost wet myself.

Meanwhile, Cole is now in the front yard posing like Miss America, checking her nails...fixing her hair.
Mommy: Aren't you going to help your boyfriend ?!?"
Cole: " Ewww...I don't want to get dirty."

Pickles is the house watching the scene from the window laughing his head off.
Pinky finally dislodged the dog from Kip's leg and poor, poor Kip made a beeline for the house.

It took us about 5 minutes to round up the dog,(he gets really excited after he's had him some leg) and Kip finally went back outside after we put Rowdy in the house.

I told Cole in passing if he still talks to you after all that, he must really like you a lot.

He's still talking to her.

Little Girls with Teenage Attitude

Maybe it's something in the air. Maybe it's the fact that they've been cooped up inside the house all winter. Maybe they need a job.

The twins get up arguing and go to bed arguing. They argue about arguing. (I didn't even think that was possible)

"Don't look at me!"
"Don't touch me !"
" Don't breathe on me!"
"Don't touch my stuff !"
" Don't eat your food like that"
" Don't talk to me !"

The funny thing is that when you separate them, they complain about not being able to play with each other. LOL

They are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable.

It's bad enough having two actual teens in the house who are grumpy, moody, irate and irritable, but add two ten year olds to that mix and you have one mommy who is becoming close friends with Advil and Tylenol.

The fights start over nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. They can be sitting quietly drawing, reading or doing homework and the next thing you know we're at The Main Event. It's never any physical violence, but they've been saying some pretty rude, mean and hateful things to each other.

I'm open to any unique ideas. I've tried all the usual stuff (grounding, separating them, discussions about being nice, restrictions) I think once the weather warms up and they spend more time playing with other kids, perhaps things will get better. Until then.... maybe I'll invest in some ear plugs.

Who Are These People (And why the heck are they so mean)

Maybe it's because of the weather. Maybe it's cabin fever. I don't know what the deal is, but my house is aflame with angry words, name calling, hitting and almost anything else two (or more) people can do to one another.

Every interaction leads to some sort of sibling fight.

Eating meals is a nightmare.

Pinky, who is grounded has managed to start at least three arguments just within the last two hours. Now she is sitting in time out pouting and complaining about no one liking her.

Actually the only two people who are getting along are 'Cole and Daisy. I'm so shocked. 'Cole actually polished Daisy's toenails and played a game with her. Now they are quietly drawing together. I can't ever remember a time when they've acted sisterly toward each other.

We went to the store one day last week and 'Cole was actually walking with her arm around Daisy's shoulder. You could have knocked me over with a feather.

The weather is supposed to be a little bit better tomorrow, so hopefully we will get out and see a movie.

This mom has an idea called Secret Sibling where each kid has to draw names and is responsible for being/doing something kind for their chosen person. I love this idea and can't wait to give it a try. Hopefully it leads to a little more good cheer and a little less sibling craziness.